Those who *can*, teach - Word of the Week

(Teacher n:  one who teaches, Etym: from `Teach` to show, point out," also "to give instruction," from PreGermanic. *taikijanan cf. Old High German. zihan, Ger. zeihen "to accuse," Goth. ga-teihan "to announce")


So, er, this post is going to be a little bit dedicated to my husband. And to all the people who teach us - not just in school - but anywhere in life.


Last week, when I was (ahem) rock climbing in Dorset, it occurred to me how miraculous it was that I was, in fact, 18 metres above the sea, attached to a rope, balancing on the corner of a cliff edge with just my hands and feet. How on earth had husbando persuaded me to do this I wondered? 


And I wondered it again when I was 10 metres up another (seemingly) sheer cliff face. And again when we were on a 1 foot wide scrabbly, rocky, stinging nettle-y path with a drop down to the sea on one side. And also when I tripped over and pricked my finger on a bramble bush and might have burst into tears.


And then I realised how bloody amazing it was that I was doing all these amazing, cool, challenging things that I never, in a million years, thought I would ever be able to do. Especially given that I am terrified of heights. And bugs, and generally beings more than 2 mins from hot and cold running shops/coffee/water/civilisation.


So it got me thinking about how I've been able to do all this and who taught me to have the strength to do it. I know I've bl0gged about motivation before, but this post is more about the people or books or movies or songs or other things that have taught you do things you never thought you could do.


For example with the climbing and also writing, husbando has taught me, weirdly, to trust. He has taught me to trust him, that he won't leave me alone when I'm scared or give up on me when I've given up on me. He won't laugh at me when I look like an idiot or fuss about peeing outside. He didn't get cross when I had a full on tantrum half way up a rock face and called him an asshole He just stuck in there for the long run. 


It might sound sappy or naff but he's taught me what it means to love and trust someone - leading by example I guess. No matter how many times I want to give up my writing or climbing, he always tells me that I can do it, he has this unwavering belief in me. It's incredibly powerful. He's teaching me to believe in myself and my abilities - but also about loyalty and perseverance. 


It's not just husbando who's taught me these things - I don't have the space to list all the lovely people (internet weirdies some of them) who have held my hand and taught me to believe in myself - but I think it's important to take the time to remind ourselves of these lessons that are learned outside of the classroom. Some of these lessons are invaluable when it comes to new ventures - whether it be writing, blogging, climbing, creating, working etc


I guess the biggest lessons I have learnt, therefore, when it comes to challenging myself are:

• Trust: in yourself and what you are doing
• Honesty: own what you do, whether it's good or bad, it's still yours, who is anyone else to judge
• Love: if you don't love it, why are you doing it? Remember though, that the line between love and hate can be fine sometimes! But if it puts a fire in your belly, you should keep going.
• Humility: you're not perfect and you're not going to get it right all the time. So what!
• Kindness: go easy on yourself, sometimes there are no rules or guidance, sometimes there's too much guidance and you just have to figure it out for yourself.
• Belief: it'll be okay - it's not brain surgery after all!

So, who are your teachers? What have you learnt from them? And are you reminding yourself of these informal lessons when you need them - you might be surprised by how comforting these can be on dark days. Here's to all our teachers, whoever and wherever they might be. And specially to my husbando, he's a bit of a star :)

Thank you and goodnight

Stupidgirl has left the building

PS I wrote this blog listening to the Juno soundtrack. It's lovely and I highly recommend it :)


PPS I have refrained from taking the medication for my muscle spasm until I have finished this blog post, after last night's debacle! You may be amused to know that last night I forgot the word `serious` and laughed like a drain when reminded of it. I also laughed hysterically at pretty much everything everyone said. In the morning I had much embarrassment. DRUGS ARE BAD KIDS.

Becky's Book Review #2 - More To Life Than Shoes by Nadia Finer + Emily Nash

Book: More To Life Than Shoes: How to Kick Start Your Career + Change Your Life
Author: Nadia Finer + Emily Nash
Genre: Job hunting/careers/women/self help
Star Rating: 5/5

General Description
As per the book blurb itself, this is perfect for anyone who has wondered if there's more to life than living for the glass of wine at the end of the day, knackering yourself on the tube and just generally wondering WTF am I showing up in this office for every damn day.Through a series of exercises, mini essays and more importantly, interviews with women who've achieved some amazing things, this book will help you realise that apparently, there is more to life than shoes!

I'm not normally a fan of life coaching/self help/career coaching type books - I guess I've always been a bit dubious and snobbish about them. However when Nadia from MTLTS sent me a link to their website, I totally fell in love with the concept of women supporting other women to achieve their dreams. As I said in WoTW the other day, we don't celebrate our achievements often enough and this book helps you figure out how to achieve your dreams. Actually more importantly than that, it helps you figure out what your dream is and to 
me, that's half the battle.


Another part of the book - that I liked the best - were the interviews scattered throughout - particularly with Martha Lane Fox, Rachel Johnson + Kanya King (founder of the Mobos). 

If you like....... 
What Colour is My Parachute? Erin Brockavich Sliding Doors Getting Things Done The Secret...inspiring true stories, female empowerment, practical advice
....then you'll like this


Why You Might Like This Book
You're curious about self-help/career coaching and tempted (tho cynical) about books in that genre
You're bloody fed up with life
You need some inspiration
You need a helping hand
You want some practical exercises to help you figure out what makes you happy at work and play


Why You Might Not
You're happy with your life
You're not happy with your life but you have no desire to change it
You're not yet in a place to make change in your life
You're not a feminist 
You don't like inspiring stories


So all in all, I am now converted to self-help+career coaching. This book was so inspiring and the exercises were great - I did some of them with a friend in the pub and we both came away feeling a lot more positive about what we wanted.


Thats all for now. Thank you and goodnight


Stupidgirl has left the building

Breathing In - Word of The Week

Inspiration n: Stimulation of the mind or emotions to a high level of feeling or activity Ety: c.1300, "immediate influence of God or a god," especially that under which the holy books were written, from O.Fr. inspiration, from L.L. inspirationem (nom. inspiratio), from L.inspiratus, pp. of inspirare "inspire, inflame, blow into," from in-"in" + spirare "to breathe" (see spirit)

(Listen to this whilst you read this post - I wrote this post listening to it)

There is a lot of talk about inspiration being something that `hits` you. That comes out of the blue and kind of, clonks you on the head - a `lightbulb` moment. That's not really how it feels to me. 

Inspiration to me is a state of being. It's an emotion or a state where my head and my heart and everything in my body is aligned perfectly. I feel every bit of oxygen in my body, that my blood is flowing smoothly, that my eyes are open wider, that my ears are listening more keenly and that I am receiving knowledge with every cell of my being. I guess it is akin to a religious experience. I feel that I am my truest self in that moment and so anything I produce - be it writing, blogging, cooking, climbing, talking - is my most honest creation. 

In the movie Stigmata, Patricia Arquette's character is possessed and she quotes from the new testament "the Kingdom of God is inside you, and all around you, not in mansions of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood... and I am there, lift a stone... and you will find me." 

I'd never heard these words before and they stuck with me. I'm not a religious person but I try to find beauty everywhere, even in the most unlikely places. And that, to me, is inspiration - it's everywhere, you only have to open yourself to seeing it.

This Much I Know Is True - An Interview with Liz

Gosh, it's Friday night again already! Could this week have gone any faster? I sure could have done with an extra few hours everyday - been crazy, busy - tweeting, blogging, out drinking margaritas with @SirenofBrixton. Did some ace climbing on Thursday plus that little old thing called a day job!

Anyway here I am on my virtual l-shaped sofa with the lovely wedding photographer Liz who runs Eliza Claire Photography. For food we've decided to stick with the Asian themed food from last week and we've gone for Chinese take out. We've got mini vegetable spring rolls, prawn toasts, spare ribs and yummy kung po chicken. We're drinking ice cold Sauvignon Blanc and I've lined up Madonna, Greenday and Adele on my iPod playlist speshly for Liz! Grab yourself a drink + snack and let's get started.....

Me: So, you know I'm gonna start with a tough one - what is the best piece of advice you've ever been given?
Liz:  This too shall pass. Invaluable during the baby-raising years! I had two children 17 months apart, and so there were times when this advice was, honestly, my lifeline. 

Me: Wow, that was fast, I'll bear that in mind seeing as I've been a tad broody (!) Okay then, next, describe yourself in a dating ad!
Liz:  Interesting, sometimes-funny, singing-in-the-car workaholic seeks bag carrier and second opinion. Camera and sense of humour vital.

Me: I like the bag carrying, that's very important. Let's talk a little about your photography, how exactly did you get into it - and particularly wedding photography?
Liz: You know when you have a group of friends, at school or uni, and there's always one with a camera in their hand, recording all the embarrassing moments? Well, that was me

I stopped taking photos for a long time - life got in the way, I guess, but then picked up a camera again on 1st Jan 2008 for a Photo-a-Day project, and it spiralled from there, really. 6 months later, someone asked me (based on my PAD pictures) to second shoot a wedding. I was terrified, but I loved it. It was like the pieces fell into place, and I was hooked.

Me: I think that from what I've seen - that you have a really beautiful, unique photographic style - particularly the lighting + colour - how did you develop this?
Liz: <looks modest> Do I? Thank you. I don't know, I just do what feels and looks right to me. The processing is a constantly evolving thing, and I'm 100% self taught (although doing my first workshop - with Jonathan Canlas (http://canlasphotography.blogspot.com/) this summer. And it's a 100% film course. Eek!

Me: What really inspires you when you're snapping away - not just weddings, but generally also?
Liz: <thinks for a little while> People inspire me. It probably sounds like a cliché but it's true. And colours and shapes, I get quite excited about textures too - give me an old wall, and I'm in heaven! I like things that are interesting to look at. I like things that draw the eye into the shot, and I like to show nature and contrast. 

Love inspires me. I was on my way to a shoot recently, the kind of shoot that I've done a lot of lately, in a location that I've used countless times before, when I stopped and realised that, for this couple - giving up their precious time off, two weeks before their wedding day - this was a big deal. This could be the first time they've had professional photos taken, it could be the first time they've ever posed together for a photo. And these photos represent the last time they were together as boyfriend and girlfriend, not husband and wife. And that IS a big deal. My job is a big deal because love is so special, so important.
And my kids inspire me. The way they see things. They'll stop and spend 10 minutes looking at the pattern that the rain's making on the pavement - that's the kind of vision I need on a dull day, the ability to see shapes, textures, colours, beauty everywhere. When we walk anywhere now, I never rush my kids along, never hurry them up, because they're observing so much, all the time. Give me their eyes for the day, and I'll take better photos!

Me: Do you have a favourite wedding photo? Perhaps you could talk us through it....
Liz:  My god, what a question! I have no idea. It's like trying to pick my favourite child!! How about you pick a photo that you like best and I'll talk you through it?

Me: Okay sorry What about this one:

That photo was taken during a first dance. The weather at that wedding had been awful, it had barely stopped raining all day, and consequently we hadn't spent the 'alone time' together that I usually spend with my clients (I usually take them off for 20 mins or so, get some portraits, but also back off and let them just 'be'). So I knew I didn't want to be 'in their faces' during the first dance. I'd set up the light already, as the venue was really very dark and we needed the light during the speeches. I wanted to give the photo that isolated feel, for them to be alone, unaware of anything. I wanted the light to just silhouette them. Triggered by the on-camera infra-red, I had to be in direct sight of the flash. And so I kept them between me and the flash, with just enough room to get the signal through. And this is the shot that I got. Thank you for choosing it, it's one of the ones I'm quite proud of!

Me: Finally, last photography question, what advice do you have to offer someone who'd like to get into wedding photography?
Liz: Second shoot, know your worth, get insurance, make sure you're prepared - it's a huge honour and a huge responsibility to photograph what is potentially the most important, happiest day of someone's life, and there are no second takes!

Me: Here come the fun, last few questions! Firstly, what would be your last meal?
Liz: Easy - minced beef pie, mashed potato, cauliflower and gravy. A childhood favourite. Yum!

Me: What is your favourite book?
Liz: The Red Tent, I think. Or The Mists of Avalon. Both not my normal read, but both left a lasting impression.

Me: What is the nicest thing you have done?
Liz: I watch formula 1 because my husband loves it, and I even bought him tickets to Montreal during Grand Prix weekend for our honeymoon. It was a surprise, and he found out on our wedding day :) 

Me: Awww that's really lovely! < I smile> Finally, last question, what do you know to be true about life? 
Liz: You learn something new every day. If you don't learn, you might as well give up.

Well that's it for tonight's interview - I really enjoyed my `behind the scenes` look at Liz's life! We are heading off to fight over the last spring roll + have some frozen margaritas. Hope you enjoyed the show. Don't forget to check out Liz's website here, her blog here and you can follow her on twitter @elizacphoto.

I'll be back on Sunday with a special valentine's themed list - Top 10 `Alternative/Indie` Love Songs, so be sure to tweet me any suggestions (@stupidgirl45). Next week has an exciting WoTW - Motivation, in which I'll be talking about my love of climbing + how it helped my writing and.....we have a special mystery interview person! I'll say no more :)

Have a great weekend everyone.

Thank you and goodnight,

Stupidgirl has left the building