London Riots - Some Thoughts Afterwards

Thank you for your amazing response to Tuesday's post about my small experience of the London riots. I cannot stress enough:

• how incredibly lucky we were
• how much my thoughts are with the people who lost so much
• how grateful i am to the emergency services, on the front line who dealt with horrendous situations, not always equipped to do so.

Now that the worst of the London riots is hopefully over, I/we have had a few days to think about everything and perhaps form some opinions or ideas on it all. I didn't want to rush in to making hasty conclusions about rioting, looting, motivation, government and society. The only thing I know for sure is that nothing is an excuse or a reason to condone such violence and wanton destruction.

Firstly, a small update on us - I spoken to husbando on Tuesday and he gave me a bit more detail about what happened when I was sleeping. Firstly, apparently a group of looters actually surrounded the building - about 20 of them - and it was pretty scary. When he called the police they were clearly short staffed but luckily the riot vans were driving past and saw the stuff kicking off outside blockbuster. Also there was an ambulance called so it looked like one of the looters was injured at some point.

In terms of getting back to normal in my small part of South London when I got home yesterday everything was all unboarded, and looked back to normal. The only places still with boarding up were some estate agents and a couple other stores. It's been great tweeting with lots of local people after the last couple of days - and actually it's really cheered me up and redeemed my faith in people. It's been lovely.

In other news, the riot struck areas of London have been cleared up by the riot wombles. And after this unspeakable act of violence (upsetting, be warned), this amazing website has been set up to help him. So far over £4k has been raised and I believe he's also received other gifts. Additionally I think one of his attackers has been identified and arrested - which is good news. All the media has been full of details of looters and rioters being sentenced and magistrates have been working crazy hours to process everyone. CallMeDave has met with parliament and addressed the media several times - but to be honest, I don't really think he's said anything sensible other than ruling out calling the army. Although the army might be used to help in departments where the police are over-stretched. He's also condoned the use of water cannons. I'm not really sure where I stand on this.

Finally, some thoughts about why this has all happened. I highly recommend two articles - firstly this, from Zoe Williams on the psychology of rioting, and then this by Camila Batmanghelidjh about the causes behind such a disassociated and disaffected section of society.

For my opinions - well pretty much what the articles say - the rioting is horrendous and inexplicable. But there are some reasons in society for people behaving and reacting like this. To those who have criticized the emergency services and in particular the police, I would say that it's utterly pointless criticizing frontline staff - they don't make strategic decisions about where they're deployed. If there weren't `enough` police at a particular flashpoint that's not the average policeman's fault - they did the best they could - risking their own lives and getting injured in the process. Additionally, the looters deliberately targeted areas on opposite sides of the city, making it hard for the police to get to areas of need as soon as possible (cf. Clapham Junction - 20 police to 200 looters).

As time goes on there will be more articles and debate about what's happened -and no doubt predictions about when and if it'll happen again. If I see any articles of interest, I'll update this post.

Thanks for listening and supporting London and England.

Thank you and goodnight,

Stupidgirl has left the building

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London's Burning - A small post on the riots in London

It's all anyone's talking about at the minute and not just in London, or the UK but across the world. I spent most of last night on Twitter (no change there then) and watching the news live from the various places that had been affected. It seemed appropriate therefore just to get down on paper (or online, whatever) what I'd experienced. I'd also like to point out that really, very little happened where I live in London and we were so incredibly lucky.

This post is therefore dedicated to all the people in London - and across the UK - who've lost their homes, their belongings, their livelihoods and who have been affected in some way by the riots.

I think maybe the best way to do this post is a little timeline for you as follows....

Sunday 7th August
Nothing happens round where I live during the day but we read about the horrid rioting in Tottenham and again in Enfield during Saturday + Sunday....we also begin to hear some nasty stuff happening down the road in Brixton.
I try not to read too much into what's happening on Twitter unless I feel it's reliable news source - hearsay just causes panic and takes away from what's really happening.
We go to bed feeling unbothered by anything as Brixton seems to have quietened down.

Monday 8th August
10am-ish
In the office, discussing the riots, I say nope, we were fine, nothing happened down our end of town - only to be told that actually 3 shops minutes away from us - including the one where I bought my mobile from - were smashed in last night and it was all a bit iffy further down the road. I also read about the violence and looting in Brixton around 1am and hear about all the shops that are so familiar to me - Body Shop, M+S, WHSmiths etc - having their windows smashed in. It's all starting to feel a bit more `real`.

Mid Afternoon
We see images of stuff kicking off in Hackney and listen to the news a little. Reports also coming in about Enfield too. It all seems North London centric and I am not worried for me/us at all - but very concerned for those in North London and in particular colleagues travelling up there.

Early Evening
After having a quick drink after work and ensuring we all tweet when we're home safe, I head back to the flat via clapham junction. Arriving at my station I don't really notice any particular atmosphere - but I was busting for the loo (!) so that may have clouded my observational skills hahah.

I put a nice casserole on to cook for dinner and switch on Twitter to check that everyone has got home safe. Meantime I worry a little about husbando who has wisely (!) chosen to run home from work through South London. I try not to worry too much and have some lovely reassuring tweets from people.

The general feeling on Twitter is of concern - lots of people hearing sirens and worrying. I still don't feel like anything is going to happen to us despite issues in Peckham and last night's issues in Brixton.

Snapshot - Word of The Week

(Snapshot n.: A photograph taken with a small hand-held camera, an isolated observation Etym: also snap-shot, 1808, "a quick shot with a gun, without aim, at a fast-moving target;" photographic sense is attested from 1890.)

I know, I haven't blogged much over the last few weeks. As I said in last week's bumper post (here) real life keeps getting in the way - work is hectic. Then I decided to go to Leeds for the weekend to see some friends - and it broke me. As you might have guessed from my tweets and/or facebook, I'm sick. I have woman-flu. This differs from man-flu in that in spite of a full fever, not being able to hear, having razor blades in my throat and aching all over, I martyrously attempt to "work" before being told to go home sick. It also causes one to make up words - apparently `martyrously` is not a word. Sorry.

Anyway instead of a nice well thought out blog post, I thought I'd just give you a little snap shot of what's tickled me over the last couple of weeks. Kind of a cross between a list, an interview, and news aggregator. Besides, I already sent one email to my boss this morning - from my sick bed - that ended "Oh god, does that make *any* sense" - so it's best I don't try to think too hard.....

What I'm Reading:

Kate's Wedding - Chrissie Manby (review to come but 'tis awesome)

More To Life Than Shoes: How To Kickstart Your Career (also review to come but really inspiring)

To The Moon & Back - Jill Mansell (you'll need tissues for this one, it's lovely!)

Sophie's Bakery for the Broken-Hearted/Happiness Sold Separately - both Lolly Winston

Also to read in due course, The Killer Inside, The Passage, The Group, Money (Amis) and The English German Girl. But only when my brain is not so full of snot.

What I'm Listening To

Moby, Eva Cassidy, Neil Finn, Foo Fighters, Rage Against the Machine, Bonnie Tyler, Jessie J, Starship, Blink-182, Nirvana, Weezer....

Oh And and and my friend's *awesome* band Two Trick Horse they're relatively new + gig in Leeds if you're around there. Definitely one to watch (well, listen...er, you know what I mean)

Websites + Blogs I've Discovered/Visited

It Doesn't Happen Like This In The Movies (dating blog)

Loves & Life of a London Girl (another dating blog....it's vicarious pleasure as I'm married!!)

The News With Nipples (writing/feminist/interesting stuff blog)

I Know, I Need To Stop Talking (funniest blog ever, about kids, mummies, wine, front bottoms)

Novel Publicity (advice for writers site, amazing social media tips)

Viadeo (social networking site, a little like LinkedIn, interesting + one to watch)

Social Glitz (awesome site/blog about social media/networking - great advice)

New People I've Followed on Twitter

@markborkowski @mashable @queenofshops @stefanstern @the3rdgirl @NaomiAKlein @sophiehannahCB1 @sourcerkelly @antoniaharler @james_rowe 

Driving Me Crazy...Word of the Week

(Motivation noun: desire to do; interest or drive/incentive or inducement. Psychological definition:  the process that arouses, sustains and regulates human and animal behaviour. Etym: From Latin `Motare` to move/shake/stir, from proto-IndoEuropean meuə-)


I've been climbing for nearly two years now. I've been to most of the indoor walls in London* plus climbing in the Peak District, Portland and the Alps last summer. I even went hiking everyday bar 2 days on my honeymoon. I should now add that I'm terrified of heights. Yes, that's right, I'm petrified of being more than about 3 foot off the ground.


So a) how did I end up climbing and b) what the HELL has this got to do with writing I hear you ask. Good questions - and there are two reasons, both questions in themselves - and they revolve around that rather cheesy, management speak-esque word `Motivation` which is the WoTW. Why did I start rock climbing and in what universe could it possibly help my writing!?


Well, the answer to the first question is around what could drive me to the extremes of paying to scare the shit out of myself on a weekly basis. I have one word for you - husbando! Yes, he and I, are complete polar opposites when it comes to interests and personality types. I'm loud, lazy and un-athletic, he, quite frankly, isn't! At some point in our (now) nearly 9 years together, this was going to bite us in the ass a little in terms of our relationship - after all we'd started to lead almost entirely separate social lives outside of work + spending time together. It suddenly seemed to be rather a concern, particular as our wedding was looming at this point. 


In April 2009, H decided that he wanted to try rock climbing and by jove we were going to do it together. I'd like to tell you that I was incredibly enthusiastic and supportive about this suggestion. But that would be an outrageous lie. Still we struggled on, past our `taster session` at The Castle, onto a 4hr intensive climbing course + eventually began weekly climbing sessions. By the time we'd been climbing for 3 months, I think i'd feigned every possible injury bar none in order to attempt to wriggle out of going. These excuses included such gems as "I need to have long nails for the wedding, so I can't climb in case I break one" and also "I have period pain so I can't climb, it's the LAW". Husband was not fooled, and continued with his cause, manfully facing up to the prospect of endless public domestics + coaxing a tearful histrionic wife down from the top of the climbing wall. "Hold on to the rope" and "Let go of the wall" became regular phrases in our conversations. I think The Castle think of me as `that screaming maniac`.  Oh yes, did I mention the fear of heights?


So anyway, fast forward to 2011, we're climbing away, I don't mind getting up early, *and* last sunday I climbed my hardest climb yet (a 6a for those who have a clue about climbing grades) - for which my lovely long-suffering husband rewarded me with Chanel make up!


So what the fecking feck has this bloody got to with writing, can hear you all hoping I might be getting to the point soon. To recap, my motivation for scaring the shit out of myself was to get closer to my husband. And when you're all that stands between your loved one and if not certain death, but at the very least the strong possibilty of broken bones, then trust is at the very heart of your relationship. Learning to let go + trust someone with not just your heart but your entire physical being is the most extreme way of offering yourself to someone. I can absolutely say that husbando + I are closer because of climbing - because he's seen me test myself to my very limits for him (see more on this below) and because I've learned that despite all my fears, I can trust him. So a very powerful driver is love.


The first lesson then, which can be applied to writing therefore, is learning about what motivates and drives you. Look for motivation outside of writing. What motivates you at work, what motivates you and gets you excited generally in life, why do you do what you do? What makes you think hey! that's cool, I want in on that. That's where you're going to find what motivates you beyond all else and will keep you writing when you want to give up. 


My motivation is love and making people happy so that's what keeps me writing! I love entertaining people with my blog, if I've made one person smile or think or most importantly, value themselves a little more, then I am so incredibly happy - that's my job done. And maybe it sounds twee but sometimes that's the only thing that lies between me and not getting up in the morning when the black dog bites.


Second lesson about motivation from climbing is just bloody putting yourself out there/facing your fears. I know I bang on about this - and maybe I'm just really trying to convince myself of this but what's the worst that could happen when you put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. It's fucking scary writing + doing this blog + putting myself out there for criticism but how else do we grow + learn? And you know what it's bloody empowering. No one is going to reach out and say `Yes, you're special, I'm going to tell everyone about you + your writing` you need to be your own helping hand. I'm not saying be an arrogant prat but just dare a little more, push yourself a little harder. Add a new, crazy character, put a random plot twist in the book - I ended up with a pivotal scene in my book as a result of this. Have fun, live a little - it's meant to be enjoyable. If you're bored of your writing, chances are your reader will be too! Every time you're scared writing, just think about what drives + motivates you and then ask yourself, "what's the worst that could happen", chances are, it's not going to involve a broken bone!


I know that's been a long post so if you got this far, thanks so much, I hope at the very least it was interesting - I've put myself out there for your judgement. I've enjoyed writing this anyway! Don't forget to tune in on friday for an interview with the lovely Siren of Brixton, plus another guest photo essay, this time from Graffiti Living. Plus I am thrilled to announce that I will be featuring an interview with Gaz Parry - 6 time British climbing champion in a few weeks, check out his blog here.


Thank you and good night


Stupidgirl has left the building


* My fave climbing walls are West One in Marylebone, The Westway in Shepherds Bush and obviously The Castle! Other good places to try are The Arch and Mile End. Enjoy - and let me know if you check them out.

Guilty Pleasures - My Top 10 Things in London

Hey everyone, hope you've had great weekends - whether you've been in, out or shakin' it all about. It's been a busy one here in Stupid-Land. Spent 4 hours at the climbing wall yesterday (pics to come later in the week) then headed off to Waterstones for a spending spree with @AliaMcK and finished off with dinner with some lovely girlies. Today was mostly spent having a lovely long 4 hour lunch with husbando as a belated NYE celebration and emailing.

So, to this week's top 10 list - a compilation of my favourite places to go, see, do, eat, drink, shop and chill! I have tried hard to come up with some really original places so even if you're a Londoner, there might be a few places on here that you've not been to.

1) The Posh Restaurant/Boutique Hotel - The Bingham, Richmond
Tucked away on the edge of Richmond, this hotel + restaurant is in a converted town house that looks like nothing special outside but inside it's tastefully opulent with lovely romantic views over the Thames.  The food is to die for - and very reasonably priced with a Sunday set menu starting at £38 for 3 courses. I don't claim to be a foodie but this place has a Michelin star and my very hard to please husband agrees that this place is top quality. We celebrated our wedding anniversary here.
Food - 5/5
Wine - 5/5
Romance - 5/5
Service - 5/5
Ambiance - 5/5

2) The Hidden Treasure Museum # 1 - Leighton House, Kensington
If you're a fan of pre-raphaelite art, you've probably heard of Lord Frederic Leighton. If not, you still might have seen his most famous painting - Flaming June. Leighton was a C19th painter + sculptor + President of the Royal Academy. His house has been carefully preserved, full of his treasures as well as his own paintings + sculptures and is well worth a visit - handily tucked away behind Kensington High Street. My absolute favourite part of the house is the amazing Arab Hall, filled with his collection of Iznik tiles which are the most beautiful blue I have ever seen. Every room is like a little gem. Visiting this museum is little a gift to yourself - it's never very busy and doesn't take long but it is completely UNFORGETTABLE. Go now! (or next time you're in London)


3) The Spooky Place - Highgate Cemetery, Highgate
I'd never heard of this place until I read Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger (author of The Time Traveller's Wife) - which is set in Highgate Cemetery. Although the East Cemetery is famous for the graves of Douglas  Adams, George Eliot, Christina Rossetti and er, Karl Marx, it's actually the West Cemetery that's worth the visit + cost of the guided tour. The views of the amazing Victorian grave sculptures and mausoleums have to be seen to be believed and the Egyptian Avenue is goosebumpily wonderful. It's a little bit of a trip outside of central London but if you like Pere Lachaise in Paris, you'll *love* Highgate for its spooky gothic romance.


4) The Bookshop - Waterstones, Piccadilly
Five whole floors of books, what more can I say?! Fantastic service, great variety, amazing bar on the 5th floor with lovely views (very romantic!!). Just be prepared to walk out with bags full of books! This is somewhere I love to go whenever I am in town and @AliaMcK and I can while away several hours here. It's also got a decent travel section including some very specific walking + hiking books (tip, best travel bookshop in London - Stanfords in Covent Garden)


5) The Hidden Treasure Museum #2 - John Soanes Museum, Holborn
A bit like Leighton House, this is another fully restored townhouse, this time in the heart of Lincoln's Inn Fields and belonging to the C18th architect, John Soane. What is interesting is that his house has been a museum since his death in 1837 when an act of parliament was passed to ensure that it was preserved for students of architecture. To be really honest, you don't just need to be a fan of architecture to love this place - it's a total treasure trove of antiquities and random pieces of art - from the sarcophagi of Seti I to Roman busts and ancient Greek pottery, all the way through to paintings from Hogarth + Canaletto. Enjoy!


6) The Cheap Restaurant - La Casita, Streatham
This is my local Portuguese restaurant but it does, hands down, the best steak in London for £14. Not kidding. Tried and tested by a lot of my friends and my husband orders it everytime we go there! Plus they do it properly rare - like, as in, moo-ing on the plate. It's amazing + well worth the trip to South London. Also have fabulous Portuguese specialities such as salt cod + rabbit stew + great tapas, plus a great value wine list.
PS This place is so titchy, it doesn't even have it's own website so the link will just help you find it!


7) The Green Space - Richmond Park
I used to have to do PE and cross country races in Richmond Park but weirdly enough this didn't make hate the park - it made me love it more. When you grow up in Central London, finding 2500 acres of green space is pretty rare but Richmond Park is amazing. It's not got hills or dramatic scenery in that respect but the lush meadows and wooded areas and stacks of natural wildlife including 650 free roaming deer make this a very special place. It's perfect for a lovely walk (2-4hours) or a kid friendly picnic - or even a romantic picnic. If you like to horse ride or have a dog (or love dogs) it's a great place to go.


8) The Walk - Southbank to Tower Bridge
Whenever I think of London and the buzz + excitement it holds for me, I think of the Southbank by Waterloo. It's the perfect place to meet for a drink, a snack, a lunch/brunch/dinner and then take a wander along the river, people watching, looking at the views of London (Big Ben, the London Eye, St Paul's Cathedral, Canary Wharf, the Tower of London ). On the way you can stop into little shops and pubs, wander into the amazing looking Tate Modern art museum, go wine tasting in Vinopolis or Wine Wharf at London Bridge and then finish up after dark eating dim sum in Ping Pong looking at Tower Bridge lit up in all it's glory. Perfect!


9) The Secret Bar - Skylon, Royal Festival Hall
A pricey restaurant with amazing views across the River Thames right in the heart of the Southbank, this is one of my favourite places to have special cocktails with the girls. It's pricey but worth it if you're celebrating! The food is also lovely - and Toptable often have special deals on, so be sure to check it out.


10) The Lingerie Shop - Rigby + Peller, Knightsbridge
Thought I'd better add in one more shop - that didn't sell books - and my next favourite thing to buy is lingerie! It's very rare I have enough spends to shop at R+P but if it's good enough for the queen (the royal corsetiers) then it's good enough for me. The service is impeccable, the range is lovely (they also stock La Perla), the shiny red shopping bags look fabulous - and the sales are amazing value. This place is a little different from your average Victoria's Secrets and much classier that Agent Provocateur (not that sometimes you don't want a little AP Sauce) but Rigby + Peller sell classic, elegant and sexy lingerie. Definitely a treat for any girl

I hope that you feel like visiting one of the places on my list - they are definitely tried and tested - I look forward to hearing your views and please feel free to recommend *your* favourites on the comments section! Thanks for all your views this week - and this month. Tune in on Wednesday for WoTW (Sex) and Interview Friday.

Thank you and goodnight

Stupidgirl has left the building

Fun In The Snow - a photo essay

I write a lot, so here are some pictures for you instead, taken when it snowed in London in December. It was so magical out, I couldn't resist snapping away with the little camera on my BlackBerry. Hope you like them!