Fear and Flying - My Holidays Part 2

In lieu of a proper Top 10 List today, I have just naughtily split the top 10 between yesterday's post and today's as er, it's a bit long! But you do sort of get a mini photo essay *and* a video. Not of me.

Anyway, in case you missed it, I spent the last week in Chamonix in the Alps....if you've not been before, it looks a bit like this:

Anyway, back to the list, I did a lot of reading whilst I was away (because of the spraining-of-ankle debacle)....

5) The Books
My very lovely parents-in-law got me a kindle for my birthday. Now I was quite averse to the idea of a kindle when they first came on the scene but I can now assure you that in resting ankle type situations and killing two hours at Geneva airport and general reading on mountain situations, they come in very handy. As I certainly could not have fitted all the following books I read into my hand luggage:

• The Poison Tree by Erin Kelly -  awesome read, couldn't put it down. (thriller) 5/5
• How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran - also awesome, will be a doing a whole separate post on it (feminism) 5/5
• Last Train From Liguria by Christine Dwyer Hickey - slow start but gripping (historical) 4/5
• Hollywood Sinners by Victoria Fox - pure bonkbuster trash, loved it! 4/5
• That Summer In Ischia by Penny Feeney - a bit disappointing tbh (general fiction) 2/5
• Shopaholic Takes Manhattan/And Sister/Ties the Knot/And Baby by Sophie Kinsella - i've read all these before, decent chicklit and exactly what my poorly ankle needed 4/5

6) The Paragliding
At the top of the Planpraz cable car, rough opposite the Aiguille du Midi, all the (crazy) paragliders jump off the mountain side. It's bloody awesome/terrifying watching them. I can't decide if I want to have a go at some point or not. Anyway, here are a couple of pics and also a video of them taking flight!

30 Day Book Challenge Part : Days 14-30

After friday's post on the 30 Day Book Challenge, I thought I'd be very lazy tonight and do the the follow up post. I know you were all expecting my top 10 favourite words but that'll probably come tomorrow or next sunday - apologies for the delay. I've no idea why I'm so tired today - I had an unheard of 12 hours sleep and everything.

I had a chilled weekend - for the fashionistas out there, yesterday I picked up a couple of bargains at RagTradePopUp, and tried on a £1000 dress from Helmut Lang (priced at considerably less in the sale) but decided not to buy it. I went to the sale with @AliaMcK who also picked up some beautiful bits - so I'll definitely be blogging about it (with pictures) later this month. We then had a nice dinner at a friend house. Today has involved sleeping, eating, chores and surfing t'interweb and deciding on the plans for my 30th bday later this year

So, here it is, part two of my list - hope you enjoy it - and plan to do your own!

Day 14: Book whose main character you want to marry - Mark Darcy, Bridget Jones. Cringingly embarrassing but he had me at "I like you very much. Just the way you are". It might help that Colin Firth is divine in the film....

Day 15: First “chapter book” you can remember reading as a child Any of the Famous Five books by Enid Blyton I think.
Day 16: Longest book you’ve read er, probably Voyager by Diana Gabaldon at an incredible 1059 pages.
Day 17: Shortest book you’ve read As an adult? I guess Bonjour Tristesse is pretty short. It's a fabulous book too
Day 18: Book you’re most embarrassed to say you like Probably Bridget Jones' Diary. No one else seems to like it anymore but I love Bridge and her support knickers.
Day 19: Book that turned you on - The Bride Stripped Bare, Anonymous and anything by Anais Nin.

To reveal why is far too personal - after all, my mother reads this blog!!!

Day 20: Book you’ve read the most number of times I know this is going to sound very odd but I've read American Psycho *at least* 10 times. I just get a deeper understanding each time. I feel that the book says something very fundamental about our society but I can't quite put my fingers on what...
Day 21: Favorite picture book from childhood Where The Wild Things Are (ps check out my blog post on my fave kids books here)

30 Day Book Challenge Part 1: Days 1-13

Gah, who went and broke blogger then? It's been down on and off since wednesday thus depriving me of the opportunity to obsessively check my stats every 10 minutes. Actually, this may be a good thing in fact - am sure it's not healthy to balance your self-esteem on blog stats. I did actually blog on Wednesday night - WoTW was Diversity, in case you missed it.

So I was supposed to do a book review last night - Daughters of Rome by Kate Quinn. But I couldn't, due to aforementioned blogger issues (blogger as in the blog hosting company not ME, the blogger). And I'm randomly too tired to do it tonight. It's been a long week at work - what with having to work a whole FIVE DAYS. I'd gotten used to the 4 day weeks and long weekends - what with all the recent bank holidays. Still, we've got another one coming at the end of this month - woopee! I may, or may not, be going to France then as well.

Anyway as I'm tired, I'm doing a bit of a easy post tonight - actually it's a list - with part 2 to come either on sunday or next week. It's the 30 Day Book Challenge, which works 'zactly like the 30 Day Music Challenge.

Here is part 1:

Day 1: Favorite book: Um, can I have two?? The Blind Assassin and The Secret History. Always.

Day 2: Least favorite book: The Mayor of Casterbridge, Thomas Hardy. Forced to do this for A-Level. Fucking boring and with an incredibly distasteful non ironic wife selling scene early on Just.so.repressed. arghhhh

Day 3: Book that makes you laugh out loud: Starter for 10. Very.fucking.funny.

Day 4: Book that makes you cry: Talk Before Sleep by Elizabeth Berg. If you've ever thought about how amazing female friendship is and the ties that bind - in the worst possible circumstances, this book covers it so poignantly. My copy is tearstained from 10 years ago.

Day 5: Book you wish you could live in: Open House - Elizabeth Berg. For the line "...you were running around with your helmets on backward...living lives that are totally oblivious. Thank god you met each other so you could wake up!" - this happens right at the end of the book. I shan't say more for fear of spoiling a wonderful novel.

Day 6: Favorite young adult book: I know I should say something cool + trendy, like The Hunger Games or Matched, but when I was young, YA didn't really exist. If it did it was called teenage literature, when publishing houses weren't trying so hard to be all things to all people. So I'd probably pick The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton

Day 7: Book that you can quote/recite: Hmmmm, tough one this......rather pathetically random chunks of The Odyssey + the Aeneid from having to memorise far too much for my Latin + Ancient Greek A-levels!

Snapshot - Word of The Week

(Snapshot n.: A photograph taken with a small hand-held camera, an isolated observation Etym: also snap-shot, 1808, "a quick shot with a gun, without aim, at a fast-moving target;" photographic sense is attested from 1890.)

I know, I haven't blogged much over the last few weeks. As I said in last week's bumper post (here) real life keeps getting in the way - work is hectic. Then I decided to go to Leeds for the weekend to see some friends - and it broke me. As you might have guessed from my tweets and/or facebook, I'm sick. I have woman-flu. This differs from man-flu in that in spite of a full fever, not being able to hear, having razor blades in my throat and aching all over, I martyrously attempt to "work" before being told to go home sick. It also causes one to make up words - apparently `martyrously` is not a word. Sorry.

Anyway instead of a nice well thought out blog post, I thought I'd just give you a little snap shot of what's tickled me over the last couple of weeks. Kind of a cross between a list, an interview, and news aggregator. Besides, I already sent one email to my boss this morning - from my sick bed - that ended "Oh god, does that make *any* sense" - so it's best I don't try to think too hard.....

What I'm Reading:

Kate's Wedding - Chrissie Manby (review to come but 'tis awesome)

More To Life Than Shoes: How To Kickstart Your Career (also review to come but really inspiring)

To The Moon & Back - Jill Mansell (you'll need tissues for this one, it's lovely!)

Sophie's Bakery for the Broken-Hearted/Happiness Sold Separately - both Lolly Winston

Also to read in due course, The Killer Inside, The Passage, The Group, Money (Amis) and The English German Girl. But only when my brain is not so full of snot.

What I'm Listening To

Moby, Eva Cassidy, Neil Finn, Foo Fighters, Rage Against the Machine, Bonnie Tyler, Jessie J, Starship, Blink-182, Nirvana, Weezer....

Oh And and and my friend's *awesome* band Two Trick Horse they're relatively new + gig in Leeds if you're around there. Definitely one to watch (well, listen...er, you know what I mean)

Websites + Blogs I've Discovered/Visited

It Doesn't Happen Like This In The Movies (dating blog)

Loves & Life of a London Girl (another dating blog....it's vicarious pleasure as I'm married!!)

The News With Nipples (writing/feminist/interesting stuff blog)

I Know, I Need To Stop Talking (funniest blog ever, about kids, mummies, wine, front bottoms)

Novel Publicity (advice for writers site, amazing social media tips)

Viadeo (social networking site, a little like LinkedIn, interesting + one to watch)

Social Glitz (awesome site/blog about social media/networking - great advice)

New People I've Followed on Twitter

@markborkowski @mashable @queenofshops @stefanstern @the3rdgirl @NaomiAKlein @sophiehannahCB1 @sourcerkelly @antoniaharler @james_rowe 

Facing your fears and all that crap

So, let's just get right down to the point of this blog. I originally started it, way back when in 2009, as a way of encouraging myself to just please, do a little bit of writing, in the hope that I might eventually write an actual book.It would be good to keep the people off my back who have, since I was about 15, been asking me when I was going to write a book. To which my answer was always "Okay just because I love reading, does not make me a) able to write a whole book or b) even good at writing." as this paragraph neatly demonstrates.


However I figured, what if I wrote a book with the proviso that NO ONE EVER SAW IT. Cunning plan huh, write a book, stick it a desk drawer, mission accomplished. Who cares about whether it's readable or whether, if I kept going, my next book might be readable. 


Note - being readable is not the same as being published.......(cf vanity publishing)


So here we are a couple of years later, with a few blog posts under my belt, some lovely people who actually read this blog AND a nearly finished Nanowrimo novel. Hmph, well what about that then. I still can hardly believe it myself but the evidence is on my hard drive - 50k words of a VERY UNEDITED and PROBABLY CRAP  and DEFINITELY NOT commercially viable novel.


In fact that sentence holds the key to what holds me back as a writer - the words `commercially viable`. I think they probably make any author's heart sink to be honest and, having spent 5 years working for a major bookstore and then two of the biggest book publishers in this country, they make my heart sink too. 


My book is based on an idea that I love - and has characters that I love and who do unpredictable, crazy-ass things that were not in my book plan - but whether it'll fit neatly into the supermarkets top 50 is a WHOLE OTHER QUESTION. And not really one with a positive answer, I think. But I still keep on writing it under the premise that NO ONE WILL EVER SEE IT. 


Um, small confession; I have shown some snippets to some friends. I think this was easily the most terrifying thing I've ever done - more so than rock climbing. I have learnt that I am QUEEN OF ADVERBS (sorry is the capitalization annoying you...) and maybe I should cut some/all/99% of them.


But showing it to people made me think about whether, as  writer, am I really challenging myself and being the best writer I can be, if I am not putting my work out there for criticism and feedback? How am I going to develop myself and my style without this and also, by facing my fear and eek, showing my writing to people, isn't this helping me grow a little as a person too - to have a teeny tiny bit of self belief?


So in the name of sharing below is a small excerpt from a project I started (and stalled) working on early last year. I never plan to do anything with this, hence putting it on here. It is COMPLETELY unedited - there may be heinous typos but I make no apologies, this is my writing, warts and all, in public for the first time.


PS The inspiration for this post came from 2 other supercool bloggers: Julie C Gardner and Graffiti Living 'Please Don't Read My....'


Except From StupidGirl's Untitled Project - Feb 2010

“Our time together is running out.” My voice in the silent room makes her jump, “try to work with me on this, it can only help.” Every session to date has been the same. The flickering lights, the chewing of the lip, the sullen stare. No amount of pleading, logical reasoning or brutal imagery has caused her to speak. Shocking events can cause involuntary muteness. But I do not feel this to be the case with her. She is deliberately holding back and, at times, I feel as if she is waiting for me to say the correct word or sentence and suddenly her long held silence will be unlocked.

I gather my papers and the clippings together. It is almost the end of the appointment and I can see that, yet again, we are going to get nowhere today. I could simply copy and paste my notes each session; such is the lack of change each time.  And then something happens that makes this one session different.

Looking back, it seems almost funny that something so simple could trigger such events. But isn’t that always the case – butterflies wings and thunderstorms as they say.  I bent down to grab my brown leather satchel and as I did so, some trick of the wind outside caused the crows flying past to caw and rasp loudly. My patient speaks “One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl and four for a boy,” she intones solemnly, her voice raspy and low from lack of use.  At this point, after hitting my head on the desk in shock at hearing her voice, I am sat bolt upright, scrabbling for the digital recorder.

“Five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told.”