Dear SG45...I Don't Get Twitter

Dear SG45,

I keep hearing how great Twitter is, but I just don't `get` it. It just seems to be trolls, or people talking about their lunch or celebrities. What is the point?

Thanks,

A Playground Dad 

That's a good question - and one I get asked a lot - what *is* the point of twitter? I don't mean for businesses or brands, but for regular people. Why do we bother, why do I love twitter so much? It's something I don't think the big bods over at Twitter articulate particularly well. Or even show us that well. (this article agrees with me). It's a bit of a catch-22, the more you use Twitter, the more I think you `get` it. It's definitely not like Facebook, or even - as much touted - like a mini blogging site. I think it's much more communal and sociable than that.

I guess Twitter is like going to a massive party with lots of different groups of people listening to lots of different music and doing lots of different things - some good and some bad. Just like at a party, the noise and chatter can be deafening and overwhelming, but once you've (figuratively) walked the room a couple times, got a drink at the bar and spotted some people you know, you start to relax and have a good time. A few hours later you end up making loads of new friends, dancing on the speakers with no idea where the people you came with went. Well Twitter's kinda like that....

I can't speak for all of Twitter's 255 million monthly active users, but here's why I love Twitter and why I use it:

Didn't You Get The Memo?... Basic Twitter Tips for your Mom & Other Newbies

So this post has been a long time coming - I've been planning it in my head for awhile - mainly since everyone noticed that my mum has joined twitter. (no I'm not telling you who she is, you'll have to figure it out yourself). This is in no way a definitive guide to using twitter or even the top most important tips - if you type "Twitter Top Tips" into google you'll get a zillion responses. Instead this is just my personal pointers on a few key things about twitter.

I am guessing that a lot of people who read this blog are already on twitter, in which case you might already know/think most of this stuff - but I just thought I'd put it out there anyway. Just to be helpful! So let's get started....

Anti-Eggs: Why You Need A Picture.

This is my biggest Twitter bugbear – when people don’t have a picture but keep the egg icon. Don’t keep that stupid egg – it either says “hello, I am a spambot and I’m going to PISS YOU OFF` or it says `I’ve joined Twitter and I don’t really know why but hey! I’m here”

It only takes a second to change it but voila, it now says `Hi, I might actually be a real live human here wanting to interact with other people`. Which is a good thing. You don’t want to put people off from the very outset.

You don’t necessarily need to use a picture of yourself – I know a lot of people like to use social networks semi-anonymously – but at least use something that is personal to you. It tells people about you and might make them want to follow you or talk to you or follow your blog/check out your website.

Also FYI – any picture of a girl in a bikini/bra/low cut top/short dress is likely to be a spambot. Unless you are after a rather particular kind of follower, steer clear of this kind of image. In my opinion anyway!

It’s All About The Strapline or, Why Profile Info Is Important

Okay so when you click on someone’s profile you can see a few words below their twitter name. In fact when you joined Twitter you had to fill out your own version – in 160 characters. These 160 characters are possibly the most important 160 characters you’ll ever write on twitter. They tell the tworld and his twife, why they should follow you.

It can be hard to know what to put here, after all how can you sum up yourself in a few short words right? Well actually, it’s kind of fun, be creative and think outside the box *cringes at use of naff cliché*. I see lot of profiles where people define themselves by their relationships to others (see this post) but I would like to start a campaign to encourage people to think more imaginatively about these words. I know that it’s great that you’re a mum, wife, sister, husband, brother etc – but what else should we know about you?

It’s all about how you want to come across and how you want people to see you - my profile is kind of silly – because I have a silly sense of humour. However, I’m deaf and I like to throw that into the mix and challenge people’s perceptions of disability. I also mention the webbed toes because….well, actually I don’t know why, I guess it’s just a stupid little factoid about me. I guess the point is no one can really sum themselves up in 160 characters – it’s impossible and far too subjective – so you might as well have a little fun with it.

Finally, don’t feel like your profile words are static and engraved in stone once you’ve written them. I go and tweak mine every couple of months – after all, beavering  might not be my favourite word forever!

Didn't You Get The Memo?...Top 10 Newbie Blogger Tips

So I thought I'd try something new on here. I'm not normally all that good with change but, after having a few days off and then coming back to a wonderful reception to my post last night, I wanted to give you guys some more (hopefully decent) content.

I try to give back and share as much as possible, so this post is about all the stuff I wish I'd known back in January. If you're an experienced blogger you'll probably know most of the below - but there might be some good links for you! After the tips there are also a couple of questions that I got asked earlier today about blogging. And remember, if you've got tips to share or other questions to ask please post them in the comments part.

Tip One - Don't expect to get it right first time.
This applies to content, blog layout, lots of followers, jargon, gadgets, the lot!
It took me a little while to tweak my blog layout to just how I wanted it and to add the gadgets I wanted. Not all of them are suitable when you're just starting out IMO anyway - I didn't want to set up a Facebook page in the first week, when about 2 people were reading my blog - and one of them was my mum. Make sure that when you do add gadgets they are relevant to your blog as well.
PS By gadget I mean the stuff on your blog that's not the actual writing - like top 10 posts, archives, pictures, links, blog rolls etc

Also take the time to figure stuff out in the early days - you probably won't have that many viewers, so it won't matter if you muck up a couple of times! There's so much helpful advice out there - take it. I would particularly recommend (as ever) Novel Publicity for their advice on blog layouts, using social media and how to set up FB pages. Check it out!

Be kind to yourself - there's no one watching you or judging you - your blog is your domain and what you say goes! Which brings me on to......

Tip Two - Be Yourself
Don't write for other people, write for you and what you're interested in. Easier said than done I know. I was really scared when I started blogging, I thought WTF am I doing this for (see here)  - there are so many bloody bloggers out there, yes really! but I kept going (see here) because wow, people started reading the blog - and commenting - and asking me stuff. So I realised that there was an audience for my writing and that other bloggers were not the enemy - we're all unique. So keep writing - someone out there will like it. I found it helpful to write a set of rules for the blog, to remind me - and my readers - what I was all about. And maybe it was a bit silly, but I wanted to have a little integrity on my blog - after all, I bare my soul on here to thousands of people, all over the world.

Tip Three - Play Nicely
Okay, repeat after me....Read...aaaaand SHARE. Read....aaaand SHARE
You know when someone sends you a funny link and you just have to share it? Well the same goes for blogging and links and cool websites. Share. A lot. All the time. This is kind of the point of blogrolls - a way of showing other blogs that you're into, but for me, I try to regularly do shout outs in my posts of cool sites, places I've been to, books/blogs I've read, music/films etc - you get the picture. It's about sharing the love. Also what you like doesn't have to be hugely popular. I love giving newbie bloggers a shout out on my blog - because established bloggers have done it for me. It's kind of pay-it-forward in blogging. On the plus side, if you do mention someone - let them know - sometimes they'll link to your blog on a tweet or even, their blog. However this is not the main reason to do this.

I also like to read + follow lots of other blogs - just because I am truly fascinated by other people. I read a wide assortment of blogs - from management to weddings to campaigning to writing to climbing....and I love it. I feed off this information. And it reminds me to stay true to what I do as well. So once again.....read...aaaand SHARE!

This Much I Know Is True - An Interview with Barnaby

Hi everyone, I absolutely cannot believe it's friday again ALREADY?!? *wears puzzled expression*. Anyway, as it's friday, that means it's interview day and tonight I am delighted to have @BarnabyHazardM on the l-shaped sofa.


Tonight's interview theme is around travel and Barnaby certainly has done a fair bit. I was curious to interview him to see what he'd learned from his travels and also about the blogging he's been doing in relation to it. 


Just to fill you in, BHM was born in the UK, grew up and was educated in New Zealand, taught English in Japan and now proofreads medical letters in India (and writes whenever he can). He's 26 and the 'baby' of the family with two older brothers. Sometimes he talks too little, sometimes too much; whatever the case, he tries to be honest - which I think is a great aim!


Food-wise, we're having a little variety tonight with veg pakora, garlic naan and er, roasted cashew nuts! Apparently we're also drinking single malt whisky (on the rocks) so I'm guessing we'll be slurring our words by the end - and we're listening to some 60's choons tonight. So grab a snack and chill out with us...


Me: I think you know what I'm gonna start with so ... what is the best piece of advice you've ever been given?

BHM: Just an easy one to start, eh? (Does everyone say that? Haha!) It’s so hard to think back and find one piece of advice that stands out but there’s one I can think of off the top of my head: my friend Emily suggesting India as a worthwhile place to visit. I’m so glad I followed that advice, as I really do feel it has changed my life for the better.

Me: Wow sounds like travelling has given you a focus, can you tell us a secret about yourself?

BHM: I was obsessed with (i.e. addicted to) blackjack for a while in my early 20s. I never lost big money, but I went to the casino a lot – like once a week. I totally thought I could beat the system and studied how to do so, then I understood that the house always wins, and the fun slowly went out of it, so I stopped.

Me: So then how did you get bitten by the travelling bug?
BHM: New Zealanders have this cultural concept called ‘the big OE’, or overseas experience, which many people undertake after finishing university studies in order to get more perspective on the world outside our tiny, isolated nation. I’m part of that group, I guess. Many head for English-speaking countries (I imagine you’ve had plenty of pints pulled by NZ bartenders in London), but because of a long association with Japan through friends and work, I decided to start my overseas adventure there.


Me: Wow, I'm super jealous, so go on, tell us a little more about life in India + also Japan
BHM: It’s a cliché, but life in India really is filled with contrasts and contradictions. It often drives me crazy – things like my local temple festival, which entails 4 days and nights of non-stop music, chanting and drumming blasting from banks of speakers placed throughout the neighbourhood, punctuated by regular firecracker explosions. How is keeping an entire neighbourhood awake all night celebratory?! But the longer I stay, the better I get at accepting things the way they are. Of course, the people are also generally open-hearted, curious and friendly, and I have made lifelong friends here.


Japan was quite a different story, very rigid and machine-like. That worked for me for a while, but with the guidance of my dear friend as mentioned above, I decided to go for the opposite and dive into the comparative chaos of India. An interesting thing is that even though Japan and India are so very different in so many ways, there are still deep similarities.

Putting the Cool in UnCool - Top 10 Embarrassing Tracks on my iPod

So, as punishment for not posting my top 10 childhood memories last night - and generally failing to post at all this weekend - tonight I am owning up to the most embarrasing `choons` on my ipod. In some cases it's not just a track, it's an entire album or body of work that I own by a particular artist. In fact I'm cringing just thinking about some of the er, gems that I willingly parted with hard earned cash for (yes, thank you iTunes). Remember people, drinking and internet shopping is *not* a good combination. It's a little like drunk texting - the next morning when you see what you did, you'll be all about `wtf did I buy that song for` what what what. And then repeat all over again next time you get home drunk. Please say it's not just me.


I'd better crack on with the list then - but just for my amusement, at the end is a list of songs that stupid tweeties that I follow, claimed to own. Oh yes, public humiliation time plus I have actual karaoke video of some of these tweeties!


***Disclaimer: I am having some weird-ass problem with flash player not working on my laptop so I've not put any links in to youtube videos so that you can experience the full wonder of these songs for yourselves. Sorry. However, on second thought, maybe that's a good thing?***


Top Ten Most Embarrassing Tracks on my iPod


1. Enya
Oh yes, you heard right, that's Enya. And there's a reason why I've not listed a track. And that's because I own not one, but TWO whole Enya albums. Seriously. In my defence, her Orinoco Flow goodness clearly takes me to my happy place because this is what I have to listen to, to get my head in the correct gear for writing my *novel*. Srsly. Once I've gone through both albums then - and only then - can i move onto something that one might actually hear in public. So that's Enya - I thought I'd start with a classic. And for those who care, my favourite track is either `Only Time` from the album `A Day Without Rain`. I also love `Ebudae` from Paint The Sky With Star.


2. I'm With You - Avril Lavigne
Er, yeah no I don't have a logical reason for owning this really. I just like it. I have no idea why because Avril's faux sk8ter grrrrl shtick really gets on my nerves, plus she like, totally, rilly can not sing whatsoever. Nope. I know that her whiny patheticness on this track should also grate like her false black talons down a skate ramp but oddly it doesn't. I don't know - any of you guys like it? Is it true that she's really a trained ballet dancer? Also weird and slightly creepy factoid for you, I used to work with a guy who had the *biggest* crush on her - this was about six years ago and he was in his 30's so I do find it slightly pedo-ish. He even went to her gigs. Weird right? Much weirder than me liking this track.


3. Rockstar - Nickleback
Okay, I'm sorry but I really shouldn't have to defend this one, I know that Chad Kroeger and his MOR cronies are just cringe-tastic in the rawking out stakes butbutbutbutbut this song just makes me happy AND when I decided to quit a job around four years ago, this was the song that kept me going even when I thought I was making a fucking HUGE mistake and shite-ing up my career. But I didn't shite it up. And this song is the soundtrack to that time of my life. Plus it has some awesome cameos including one from Kid Rock (yes I know, he's a complete douche but still - anything is better than the Chad-man). Another random factoid for you - which is so incredibly tangential but here goes...when I was around 16 and on a family holiday in South Caroline some total rich redneck boy cracked on to me and he was called Chad. I didn't reallise until that point that anyone outside of SVH was called that! 


4. Self Control *and* Gloria - Laura Brannigan
Oh I see you, you're sitting there going, WTF?? I have *never* heard these songs ever. But actually you have, oh yes. They are total 80's cheese-tastic classics and you will find that you even know the lyrics, particularly to Gloria "Calling Gloriaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" and erm, it was also on the er, Flashdance soundtrack.  I have to say I prefer the synth pop of Self Control with the best drum machine possibly ever until Vanilla Ice came along. It just makes me dance. I have no shame clearly - even as I write this I am listening to "you take my self, you take my self control" and erm, sofa dancing. So yes, I'm shameless for sure. And lacking in cool. But more importantly fact fans Laura Brannigan was a back up singer for Leonard Cohen and also had songs featured in Grand Theft Auto...or something. So listen and enjoy tweeps.


5. Baby I Don't Care - Transvision Vamp
As the song says "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" yes, to you, if you don't like this one. I know I'm hitting you up with the 80's cheese big style tonight - and there's more to come, but there's something about this track that just screams big hair, bad eyeliner, blusher stripes and er, FUN. Unfortunately wikipedia has just informed me that TV are in fact `alt rock` and therefore might be cool - woops. Also one of the guys in the band ended up in Bush. With these facts I am spoiling you fact fans. oh yes. Still, the song KICKS ASS


6. St Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion) - John Parr
I have absolutely NO IDEA wtf this song has to do with the phenomenon that is St Elmo's Fire but obviously this song is from the movie of the same name and nothing to do with sea-faring legends. Anyway this `choon` reminds me of a very bad (and by that I mean EXCELLENT) club I went to at university that most memorably stank of feet for some reason. It had a regular 80's night and I remember dancing my little stilleto clad feet off to this one (most likely on a podium as well, clutching an `alco-pop` in one hand, a man-boy in the other). I hadn't thought of this song in ages until a rather horrendously awful dance version of it cropped up in my Body Combat class (also worth pointing out that we had to shadow box to a house version of Smells Like Teen Spirit - KC would have been spinning in his grave).


7. The Best of Belinda - Belinda Carlisle
So yes, I think you might have realised that I'm a bit of an 80's freakazoid. Sorry but I love Ms Carlisle. I quite frequently listen to this whole album on the way to work in the morning. If you get the Northern Line in from Sarf London around 8:30 and you can hear a tinny version of "oooooh heaven is a place on earth" emanating from a girl with pink headphones it'll most likely be me. I fear I've not really embarrassed myself enough on this post so without further ado I shall say that although HIAPOE  is my fave BC track, I also love I Get Weak and Runaway Horses. It really doesn't get much more cringe-worthy than lyrics such as "I'm in love/I'm in deep" and er "Suddenly all of my fences have broken/I'm cutting the reins of my life"


8. If I Could Turn Back Time - Cher
Okay firstly, the video for this is just fucking genius. Even Lady Gaga + La Aguilera combined into some giant lady monster would baulk at the idea of wearing a lace thonged body and straddling a cannon whilst singing to a ship full of sailors (seamen if you like). I like most of Cher's oeuvre anyway (plus with straight hair I get told I look like her) - who wouldn't love such politically correctly entitled songs such as `Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves` oh yes, but IICTBT is just classic - the guitar intro, the famillar Cher wails and the obligatory key change just before the end of the track. You know you love it.


9. Leaving On A Jet Plane - John Denver
You can blame Glee for this one - had it in my head ever since the end of the last series. Yes it's cheesy, yes it's a bit nerdy. But I like it. Live with it.


10. Escape - Enrique Iglesias
Okay no, this is not here because I fancy Enrique. Well....not *just* because I fancy Enrique. Okay time for another embarrassing story. This song came out around the time I got together with husbando. I liked him for a long time before he realised/liked me. So the lyrics "You can run, you can hide but you can't escape my love" as well as sounding just a tad stalkerish summed up how I felt. Anyway the video always made me smile because it had someone we each fancied in me - Enrique, husbando - Anna Kornikova. It's a naff song but I likes it alright.


So that's it for the embarrassing songs hair-shirt type post. I hope you've all been thoroughly amused but also enjoyed some, if not all of the songs!! I hope you'll share your cringiest tracks on the comments section - some that have been mentioned to me (Admitted?) are Barry Manilow, PJ + Duncan, various Disney soundtracks, Mc Hammer,Vanilla Ice....you guys are way worse than me.


Finally, here's a sneak preview of someone I'll be introducing to you tomorrow:

This little rascal is Archie! And he's my parents doggy with whom I had lots of fun down in Brighton on saturday. Pictures *and* video footage to follow tomorrow, plus I'll be back on Wednesday with WoTW (Method) and an interview with a fabulous accessory designer as well - 'citing stuff.


Thank you and good night


Stupidgirl has left the building

This Much I Know Is True - An Interview With Emlyn

Hi All,


Tonight as part of my weekly interview series, I'm joined on my virtual l-shaped sofa by writer, blogger and book publicist extraordinaire Emlyn Chand. Emlyn loves to hear and tell stories and allegedly emerged from the womb with a fountain pen grasped firmly in her left hand (true story)

So just so you know, we’re eating thin-crust organic pizza with roasted eggplant, artichoke, spinach and goat cheese, (mmmmmm goats cheese, mmmmmm eggplant, mmmmmm artichoke) followed by a sinful chocolatey ganache, accompanied by Diet Mountain Dew (because we’re classy like that). I should add that as I'm in the UK and Emlyn's in the US I have *no* idea wtf mountain dew is but I assume its a kind of fizzy pop/soda - like EC says, we're classy here. We’re listening to Frank Sinatra’s greatest hits with the odd Bollywood song thrown in to intensify the mix (apparently). Emlyn's kinda bossy so I'm just doing what she says.


However, in case you missed it, *she* interviewed *me* earlier this week - live on Twitter! In case you missed it, there's a full transcript here :) Anyway, on with the show (aka, revenge for tough questions...!)




Me: First up, what’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?
EC: If you don’t believe in yourself, then who else will? I honestly cannot remember the context; this is probably something I read on a motivational poster during my elementary school years and has now stuck with me.


Me: I think that's excellent advice, but easier said than done! Before we hear a little more about your motivation, what is your favourite book?
EC: I have roughly six-million favorite books, so I’m going to reference an old favorite here: “Harold and the Purple Crayon” by Crocket Johnson. It opened my eyes to the world that could exist if only I was willing to create it, and I’ve never forgotten this lesson.

Me: How did you start blogging + writing?
EC: As funny as this may sound, I was discovered as a blogger much in the same way that models or actresses are discovered. When the Ann Arbor News went out of business and the planning phase for its replacement AnnArbor.com (a pioneer in the multimedia news platform) began, I was contacted and asked to work as a community contributor for the site. They found me through my large and active book club and deemed me a book expert. I began writing pro bono, and after a couple of months, they liked what I did enough to promote me to the lead books contributor and began to pay me. Pretty cool, huh?

Me:  That's awesome! I'm slightly jealous, I would love to do that. I know that you have a full time job as well as all the stuff you do - so how do you keep so motivated, as you give so much to people online – I think you never sleep!
EC: I am self-motivated 100%. I enjoy what I do and want to keep doing more of it as much as I can. I like to say that I have the opposite of ADHD. I go into hyper-focus mode and very little can pull me out of it. It’s why I blog obsessively, tweet obsessively, and novelize obsessively.

Me: Can you tell us a little about your current projects
EC: I pay attention to the world around me and ideas naturally follow. One July day, my husband and I were taking a road trip, I was totally bored and just staring at my vacant reflection in the side-view mirror. I was wearing these huge boxy glasses and though “huh, I look blind.” Then I thought about how there were teensy little images being reflected in my glasses, and then I thought about the blind prophet Tiresias from Greek mythology. My paranormal YA work-in-progress, which is called FARSIGHTED.

With regards to my “entrepreneurial spirit,” I noticed that my blog traffic rose phenomenally on days when I posted about how to use social media to further one’s writing platform. People were retweeting my links, asking me questions, and looking to me as an expert. It didn’t take long for me to realize that my understanding of this tech realm was a marketable skill and so Novel Publicity was born (the company will launch officially on March 1 and we’ll be giving away tons of prizes like a book trailer, blog tour, cover art, an evaluation of your unpublished manuscript + more)

Me: Okay, last question about your craft - what do you love + hate about writing?
EC: I love inventing stories and watching them come to life as I type in a plot point here, describe a character there. I love when my characters become so real to me that they show up in my nightmares (yes, usually nightmares). I’m not a huge fan of the editing process even though it’s totally necessary—who enjoys murdering their darlings, I ask you?

Me: Right, time for the *fun* questions - go ahead, tell us a secret about yourself:
EC: My secret is that I’m not as confident as people assume. I put on a brave face but really I’m scared every moment.

Me: Describe yourself in a dating ad
EC: Emlyn Chand is art married with ambition. She’s 5’10 and has pasty skin from spending too much time indoors and on her computer. You can contact her for a date if you really want to, but keep in mind that she’s already married and she’d probably prefer a fictional character to you any day of the week.

Me: Finally, what do you know to be true about life?


EC: You get out what you put in most of the time, but you never get out something you don’t first put in. If you work hard, you may or may not be rewarded, but you’re not going to be rewarded without the work—period.


Wow, that was a fun packed + informative interview, thanks Emlyn. Don't forget to check out Emlyn's blog, twitter account and her facebook pages (here + here) too too! She's a busy lady :) If you're a writer or a blogger she's definitely worth a reader and her info on social media usage is invaluable!


That's all for tonight folks - I'll be back on sunday with my Top 10 Childhood Memories, a picture essay of the seaside (Brighton) on Monday plus the usual WoTW and interview next week.


Thank you and goodnight


Stupidgirl has left the building 

Fun with Japan - A Guest Photo Essay!

Happy Saturday lovely viewers - regulars and newbies! Hope you're doing well. I am very excited about this week's photo essay as I'm able to feature the work of a very talented guest photographer and blogger - the lovely Graffiti Living. If you've not checked out his blog or followed him on twitter, I urge you to do so. (PS In case you missed it, here's last week's valentine's themed photo essay)


Anyway let's get on with the show - today's picture essay theme is simply `Japan`. I think James would be the first to admit that he's a little nuts about Japan - and if you read his blog, you'll definitely know that. These pictures give such a wonderful flavour of an amazing place - and also show just how talented James is, so grab a cup of coffee, sit back and enjoy!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Amazing stuff there. If you'd like to do a photo essay one week, please do get in touch - either through the comments bit on here, or over on twitter @stupidgirl45 - I'd love to feature your work if I can. 

In the meantime, tune in tomorrow for my Top 10 Favourite Works of art, in case you missed it, last week's top indie love songs caused quite a debate. I'll then be back midweek with WoTW and an interview with Emlyn Chand on friday. Plus don't forget - I'm being interviewed live on Twitter - 9pm UK time on Tuesday 22nd. Follow #emlyn to check it out + ask me questions of your own :)

Thank you and good night

Stupidgirl has left the building

It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside - Top 10 Alt/Indie Love Songs

So, in case you'd not noticed, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. And like the unoriginal blogger I am, I thought I'd do a slightly Valentine's themed Top 10 list. I know I should be uber-cool and sneery about Valentines Day and how it's just another way for the marketing gods to get us to spend money on shit we don't need or want but.....I'm a real romantic at heart. I spent so many Valentine's Days alone when I was a teenager and was even the butt of several cruel Valentine's related pranks - so to have someone to share Valentine's with is so lovely. Even after 9 years together, husbando and I still give each other a token card + try to spend a little time together on the day.

Having said all that, a few years ago I decided that Valentine's day shouldn't just be limited to your partners - I love all my friends very much and so I always try to send them a Valentine's message too. After all love can be platonic also. So, lovely readers of my blog, here is my Valentine to each and every one of you - my top 10 favourite love songs.

And btw, before you totally freak out and wonder what kind of blog this is, you should know by now that I don't like regular sappy shit. Hopefully at least one of the songs below will be familiar and tug at your heartstrings also.

Creep - Radiohead
If there is a better song about unrequited love, I don't know it. Thom Yorke's impassioned plea and self-misery may not be to everyone's taste, but I absolutely love this song. And, as someone who has `suffered the pangs of unrequited love` this song was my anthem. Nothing says I love you quite so much as "I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo, I don't belong here". Having said that, it's no surprise that the object of his rather obsessive affections runs out the door at the end!

You Look So Fine - Garbage
Another song about unrequited love - but one that I played over and over whilst in pursuit of my husband when I was a university (now I sound like a total looper!!). Rather than the sorrow of Creep, this song, for me, is all about desire and wanting - which comes across so well in the lyrics "I want to take you home/We're wasting time, you're the only one for me". It just gives me goosebumps whenever I hear this song, and makes me smile ruefully, wishing I could go back and tell my 20 year old self not to cry anymore, as she'd end up marrying the person causing the tears!

Crazy - Aerosmith
Well now, aside from possibly being one of my favourite music videos of all time (now there's a top 10 list for the future) - how could you not love Liv Tyler + Alicia Silverstone getting up to no good - I just am totally *crazy* about this song. Yes, it's cheesey, yes, it's big haired naff rock but hell yeah - this list would be nothing without a dirty ditty from Steve Tyler! I'd love to meet (or be, even) the kind of woman that could drive him to write the lyrics "That kinda lovin' turns a man to a slave/That kinda lovin' sends a man right to his grave...That kinda lovin' makes me wanna pull down the shade, yeah!" We've all felt like this for sure - a slave to love, sex and everything in between and Aerosmith sing about it so very charmingly - this song always, but always makes me smile!

Starlight - Muse
I love this song so much that we walked back down the aisle to this at my wedding. It's just such a kick-ass song. I'm not sure it is the most romantic love song ever "I don't know if it's worth it anymore" but Matt Bellamy's pleas to "Hold you in my arms/I just wanted to hold you in my arms" and "My life/You electrify my life" just say it all really! It was such an uplifting song to walk out to and - it allowed me to just add a tiny bit of my rock chick tastes to our rather more elegant + tasteful wedding (my desire to walk down the aisle to Sweet Child of Mine was, sadly, vetoed!).

All Is Full Of Love - Bjork
I don't really have the words to say what this song means to me - but it's my ultimate love song (and another consideration for wedding music, sadly also vetoed on the grounds that it was "too weird" - which surely is never a term that's been used to describe Bjork before....much). Anyway the plaintive melody + Bjork's voice just absolutely haunts me on this one. It totally describes that sensation when you've first fallen in love and you can't think of anything else "Your phone is off the hook/All is full of love/Your doors are all shut/All is full of love". The repetition of all is full of love is so soothing and lovely plus the music video with the Bjorkbot is pretty freakin awesome.

Umbrella - Manic Street Preachers
I was amazed to discover that the music gods that are MSP have done a cover version of Rhianna's 2007 hit - but it is just so cool, as only something created by MSP can be. They've rocked it up big style - love love love the guitars on this one, but what makes it hit my top 10 love songs is also the lyrics.  Slightly cliched they may be, who can beat such gems as "Baby, cause in the dark, you can't see shiny cars/That's when you need me there" and "You can stand under my umbrella". I unashamedly love this song because sometimes, we all need a little bit of support - and to me, love is part of that. Even if you don't agree, it's a great cover version - enjoy!

The Blowers Daughter - Damian Rice
Just. So. Beautiful. I think that this song is actually a very sad love song - about something that has gone terribly wrong. But the repetition of "can't take my eyes off you" just yanks at my heart every time. I think the usage on the Closer soundtrack just makes it more poignant - I shan't say anymore in case you've not seen the film. But anyway, a great song but one you might need tissues for :)

Forever Young - Youth Group
The original version - not the one from the O.C. - and um, another bit of music from my wedding (yeahhhhh I talk about it A LOT don't I - sorry folks!). Anyway, not strictly a love song - more of a political pop song "Are you gonna drop the bomb or not...praising our leaders, we're getting in tune" - it just reminds me of when husbando + I first fell in love, when we were at uni. So it's just personal to us really, but still a great song - and one for sunny summer days, drinking wine and running around having fun. Hope you like it too.

Starcrossed - Ash
Ash's incredible homage to Romeo + Juliet, this list would not be complete without this song! It's just so great - I want to say happy, even though clearly Romeo + Juliet did not have the happiest of endings - but this song is just so full of energy and love. It makes me mouth along to the lyrics when I listen to it on the bus - and when I'm home alone, I sing along enthusiastically. How can you not adore the dulcet tones of Tim Wheeler singing "When your faith turns to despair/Always will my love be there/And never fade away". The guitar solo is also awesome. Listen and love people!

All I Want Is You - U2
Hi, my name is stupidgirl and I'm a.......U2 fan. There, I said it, in public, out loud on my blog. I refuse to live in shame anymore. I know that it's not big and it's not cool but I am a hey-ooge U2 fan. Very sorry if this offends any of you out there who have uber-trendy music tastes, but hey, I never made any pretence of the fact that actually, I am deeply, deeply uncool! So, back to the list + the song. There were so many U2 songs I could have chosen (One, With or Without You at the very least) but for me, this is the ultimate U2 love song. It's so simple and romantic and I get goose bumps every time I hear it. I'll just quote one section of lyrics that sum it all up for me "But all the promises we make/ From the cradle to the grave/ When all I want is you". Even if you think you hate U2 and Bono's preaching, please give this song just one listen, it's worth it I promise.

So that's it! That's my list - as ever thanks for tuning in and please do leave your comment below and share *your* fave love songs - I'd love to broaden my music tastes. In fact, before I go, here are a few of the suggestions that were tweeted at me this afternoon that I liked, so check out the songs + the tweeters!

@petercrosby Chumbawamba - By and By
@_scruffian Kinks - You Really Got Me
@onlyrealhowie Living Colour - Broken Hearts
@nicoleg75 REM - The One I Love
@silverelefanfic Stone Roses - 10 Storey Love Song

I'll be back later in the week with WoTW - Motivation, where I talk about the positive effect that my rock climbing has had on my writing (weirdly) plus the usual interview, photo essay and top 10 next weekend. Thanks for tuning in and have a great week.

Thank you and good night

Stupidgirl has left the building

Can you hear me calling?....Word of the Week

(Vocation n: Specified occupation/a special urge, inclination, or predisposition to a particular calling or career, esp a religious one. Etym: from Latin vocātiō  a calling, from vocāre  to call)

This week's WoTW has been a bit of a slippery fish for me to blog about. It's taken awhile for all my thoughts around Vocation to percolate into some kind of coherent thought and statement about how I feel about `a calling to write`. To give you a heads up, I think this post will be a little more introspective about how I came to write and what drives me. I hope that maybe, in some small way, this resounds with you (my amorphous audience out there) and encourages you with your writing. I shall begin....

I can't say for sure that my desire to write is a calling along the lines of a religious calling, of taking vows and committing to a particular belief or faith *but* I do think that wanting to write, having that burning compulsion to craft or make something from the thoughts in your head requires a faith in something invisible but nevertheless very real and *there* in much the same way that those of a religious calling put their faith in god.

But yet this calling to write is such a fickle siren song for me - it takes so much out of me and gives so little back sometimes. It drives me on to continue putting words and thoughts and feelings onto paper, onto my blog, into my PC, to tweet and facebook and chat to other people endlessly about their writing and reading and blogging. I'm not sure where this drive first came from - I guess it was a song in my heart and head that beckoned me, tempted me, even as a child to put words down on paper.

I loved to read from a young age, to disappear into new worlds, to travel to far flung places from the safety of my playroom (yes, I had a playroom...) so it came as no surprise to anyone, least of all me, that I loved to write as a child. But then I stopped....and I'm not sure why. And I'm not sure how, nearly 20 years later I came to reclaim that cast aside pen and paper and return to the simple process of , well, writing!

I dabbled in poetry as a teenager (didn't we all), I started, fitfully the odd story or idea in my head but then I just ground to halt. I lost all belief in my own abilities as a writer - I told myself that I was worthless, the poems were worthless, there was no point. It was a futile endeavour and best I gave it up now before everyone else could see what a failure I was. But still well into my late teens and early 20's, that siren song to write kept calling me from inside my heart.

Unfortunately, other people seemed to be able to hear it as well. If I had a pound for every time someone - friends, family, work colleagues, total strangers - has asked me if I'm writing a book, when am i going to write a book, am I published yet - well I could fund the libraries myself. So clearly out there, somewhere that siren song is now audible about my person.

I guess, sometime around 2009 I thought `fuck it` and started to give in and swim across to the siren's rock. What if I have a go at this writing *thing*. I just got so fed up with dancing to the same tune, it was time to write to a new one. As I have blogged earlier this year, I dipped my toe in the water by starting this blog for a few months. But then again I doubted myself and I cast my writing aside. Fear of failure yet again preventing me from creating anything much at all.

I trundled on, I got married, I changed jobs - and with my job, I discovered a new me. Yes! I could be creative. Yes! I had ideas - and they may be daft - but they were ideas - and from daftness can, sometimes, come gold. It was as if something had come unstoppered in my head. Where had these ideas come from - this part of my brain that clearly, had lain dormant for years and years. I had denied myself my creative streak and for what reason - nothing at all.

So finally, last november, those `feathery maniacs`, the sirens in my head sang loudly and clearly - and this time I was proud to hear their song -and to sing along with it. I have my 50k of novel, I have this blog - which you people are reading, so I must be doing something right. I think perhaps maybe, I should take pride in the fact that I have this song in my head and in my heart - and this time, I'm listening to it with my whole self.

Thank you and good night

Stupidgirl has left the building

Sharing - a quick post about my blog roll

Morning from London-town everyone. It's 9:05am here - this has to be a record for my earliest post ever! I know I normally do a photo essay today *but* this week has been crazy with work, and I've been feeling a bit down, so I've not got all my pictures ready yet. The theme was `A Day in the Life` and promise I will post them on Monday instead.

So apologies over with, today's post is about other peoples' blogs! I wanted to do this because I have received so much support from other bloggers for my writing and blogging - most of whom are on my blog roll. I thought I'd repay their kindness and give them a little shout-out - and you guys can read some fabulous new blogs. In no particular order, they are:

Graffiti Living If you like tea, japan, writing, blogging and general interesting indie boy type writing, you'll love this blog. Thought provoking, open, honest and well written, the author of this blog is a dude!

The Crafty Bat Stuff on gender, motherhood, sport, writing - and the odd post on the rock god that is Corey Taylor, this lady has supported my writing in so many ways but her blog is always very articulate, intelligent and well written - head her way!

Steampunk + Synthesisers Seattle based steampunk author Ren waxes lyrical about writing, blogging, music and his journey to getting published! For more, check out my exclusive interview with him here!

From Student to Midwife Time for something a little different, but do check this blog out - does exactly what it says on the tin! If you like One Born Every Minute, then you'll love this honest account of life training to be a midwife.

How Did I Live Without It If you like crafty sewing projects, fashion, gadgets, Lakeland and have a good sense of humour then this blog is for you. Written by the fabulous @aliamck, check out my interview with her here!

DemonWrangling101 Stuff about personal challenges, writing, living with 2 kids, being a single mum, disability - all written by the fabulously articulate Jo! Also great stuff on her 101 things in 1001 days challenge. Check out my interview with her here

Vampire Wonderland Dark gothy thrills + noir with a dash of romance from my friend across the pond, Will Kravitz. If you fancy a trip on the dark side, check this one out - possibly with a glass of wine in hand!

Siren of Brixton Wonderfully articulate blog on writing, blogging, politics, style, creativity and more. Check this lady out - she's a good 'un - and been a good support + inspiration for my writing. Plus she's a Sarf Londoner too :)

Voices for the Library Love your library? Don't want to see literacy, community spirit, free books, freedom of information + freedom of speech + much more disappear due to ConDem policies? Visit this site to learn how to support your libraries. Also check out my blog post on it here

Julie C Gardner Another lovely writing blogger who lives on the sunny side of the pond! Fun, friendly, supportive, articulate and interesting posts about another lady on her journey to becoming a published author!

Emlyn Chand This lady is a true inspiration to me - her blog is so generously jam packed full of advice on how to get the best out of social media + blogging if you're a writer, plus book reviews AND her very exciting twitter-views series. Watch out for yours truly being interviewed live on twitter on Feb 22nd 9pm UK time!

Couple more shout-outs for blogs that I love - JM Tohline, Query Shark. 

Also check out these newbie bloggers - they haven't done loads of posts, but I think they're interesting, so I'm trying to encourage them to write more.... Please Don't Kiss the Cook (this one is cute + great recipes), Sick + Tired and finally Gryfon's 101 Things in 1001 days.

All these people in many different ways, have supported, helped + inspired my writing - whether they know it or not. So here is my opportunity to say THANK YOU! Hope you find some new blogs to follow and enjoy. We need to support each other - it's a scary world out there sometimes.

Thank you + good morning,

Stupidgirl has left the building

This Much I Know Is True - An interview with Ren

Hey everyone, happy Friday! As ever it's interview time and tonight I'm sitting on my virtual l-shaped sofa with steampunk author @rencummins. We're having sushi tonight - not pizza, gotta vary the diet - and drinking stout (Ren) and pink fizz (me). We are listening to music as well (unlike last week) - and seeing as I detest Coldplay (Ren's first choice) instead we've got the Tron soundtrack playing as it's by the gods that are Daft Punk (which we both like) Tonight's interview is a little bit longer than normal, but it's a good 'un so grab a drink + snack + enjoy the show!

A little background for you, Ren lives in Washington state, with his wife and one daughter, two dogs and one cat. He grew up wanting to be Spiderman, but eventually settled into the much more realistic careers of musician and writer. He likes to indulge in the occasional video game, book or philosophical speculation and he’s generally up for a decent cup of coffee, and doesn’t mind if it’s from Starbucks!

Me: Right, lets start with a toughie! What is the best piece of advice you've ever been given? 
Ren: Okay....during my last semester at college I met with my department counsellor/English lecturer, who, in one of the first classes I'd had with him, had taken great delight in kicking me in the philosophical testicles . In spite of my dread, we had a very transformative meeting as he asked me point blank what I hoped to gain from an English Education. He told me that he knew I could write, and I had points of view, and was very skilled at storytelling... but the only remaining element, was in having sufficient life experiences to draw from. And those, he pointed out, you don't have to rack up tremendous school loans for. He told me if I was truly determined to be a writer, the best thing I could do was get out and live my life. I don't think this advice is for everyone, but for me, it forced me to really face my relative indecision about what I was going to do with the rest of my life.

Me: That makes a lot of sense - good advice indeed....but what originally made you start writing? 
Ren: Well, I originally wanted to be a comic book illustrator but as it turned out, I wasn’t that good at it . But the stories, the modern epic mythos of those characters really started me on that path of storytelling from an early age. Spiderman, the X-men, Batman, Green Lantern – I loved those characters and all the exceptional adventures and dramas in which they were engaged just remember reading those and thinking, “wow, someday I want to tell a story like that.”

Me: Ah okay, books are just so inspiring, but I like that it was comic books that got you going. I can see where the steampunk style you write in comes from now. For the benefit of our readers though, could you explain a little bit about what the steampunk genre is?
Ren: There's a lot of debate as to whether or not "steampunk" is actually a genre or not. Some people imply that it’s actually a lifestyle or a sub-genre or a stylistic template for storytelling. I personally see it as a setting flavor for books and music and art and fashion and movies, etc. To really understand the essential foundation of steampunk, you need to break it down into its etymological origins. All these many “-punk” terms came from the sense of “rebellion against the machine” which emerged in the late 1970s and early 1980s. You had Cyberpunk first, as a classification of cybernetics and punk rebellion to describe the resistance to becoming part of the information network, building on the fears of loss of individuality and that sort of basic human response to the information age. But Steampunk takes that a step further, treating mankind’s more industrial tendencies with far more reverence and painting the more earthy stylization of construction and “the machine” with a much more elegant brush.

For further explanation, I’d recommend Matt Delman’s wonderful discussion over on Doctor Fantastique’s Show of Wonders – Matt is the managing editor for Flying Pen Press’ Steampunk & Co. imprint, and he truly knows his stuff.

Me: Wow, thanks - that's really interesting - readers, I encourage you to click on the link for more! Let's now have a slightly easier question - What is your favourite book?
Ren: It’s a tie between “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran and “The Tao of Pooh” by Benjamin Hoff. They both literally changed my life. If you’ve read either one, you know what I’m talking about here. "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman is very solid, too, which also managed to inspire some ideas for a future series of books. But more about that another time. *chuckle*


Me: That brings me neatly back to asking you about your writing - what do you love (or hate) about the actual process of getting words on the page?
Ren: Oh, it’s very much a love/hate relationship. I’ve got a biorhythm that works with the writing in a very organic way. When I feel my mood dropping into the “craptastic” realm , it’s usually because I’m about ready to write and write and write. And that part can be rather annoying. Sometimes, I’m not so much “writing” as I am “taking dictation” – but those are the good times. Other times, I have to wrestle the words onto the page. I don’t mind that so much, but it can be exhausting. The side I think I’m less of a fan of with respect to writing is that it tends to be such a solitary process. Muses, brainstorming sessions and critical interactions aside, the actual process of writing is just me and the page for long hour after long hour. That part can be fairly challenging; not just for me, but for the other people in my life.

Me: That's interesting and I really agree with you about the challenges it can pose for other people in your life. Following on neatly from what you were saying above - what is the nicest thing you have done?
Ren: I try to be conscientious of others; I let people merge etc but I think those are just manners, you know? One thing I’m bearing in mind at the moment is that I’m stepping into that crazy and mysterious realm where writing stops being just a hobby and starts being my actual job; and I remember how hard it’s been to get to this point. In light of the present fears flooding the publishing industry, working together is going to be far more productive than working against each other. So perhaps this sense of responsibility isn’t entirely selfless, but I also can’t ever allow myself to be blind to the reality that we never truly get what we sincerely desire all on our own. Thus, we not only need help, but we must be that help for others.

Me: And.....(picks question from box of random questions on floor) what is your favourite song?
Ren: Though this kind of changes from week to week and day to day (and moment to moment), the ones that are consistently in the top however-many would be “If I ever lose my faith in you” by Sting, “Clocks” by Coldplay and “the 1812 Overture” by Tchaikovsky . Oh, and “Imagine” by John Lennon.

Me: Interesting mix there - I'm not sure what I expected though Second to last question now...what really annoys you?
Ren: Styrofoam , People who speed up, pull in front of me and then slow down, People who get mad at customer service people – especially right before I need to talk to them about something, Oh, and taking a drink from what I think is hot coffee only to find that it’s since grown cold. Ew! Finally, people who write on their hands. I don’t know why, but this totally messes with my head.

Me: And finally, what do you know to be true about life?
Ren: (laughs) Wow, this is a tough question for a guy who borders on the edge of agnosticism. I hope a lot, and I try to be a good man, but in the end I try to focus on family and friends and in doing the right things in life. After all is said and done, it’s really the only thing we have any actual power over, so we might as well step up and do our best. I focus on the life we have right now and not waste the precious time worrying about what may happen later. Which is perhaps a very strange admission to make, considering that my current novels are about life and death and the immortality of the soul.

I believe that there is something to be learned from every person you ever meet, and to walk away from any social interaction (especially the significant ones) without learning that truth makes for a wasted opportunity. Perhaps one of the biggest struggles that most people seem to face is in waiting for the universe to tell them what to do; sometimes what the universe requires of us is to make up our minds; to have enough faith in ourselves to step out into that uncertainty and be brave enough to keep walking until we get additional information..

Me: Wow thanks for all your well thought out answers, you've been an amazing interviewee. Really thought provoking. Let's head off to the pub now!

If you're interesting in finding out more about Ren + what he's up to check out his professional website at www.renwritings.com and blogs at http://anachronology.blogspot.com You can also find him on twitter - @rencummins and Facebook.


That's all for today but don't forget to check back on Sunday for Top 10 Poems and a photo essay on monday!


Thank you and goodnight


Stupidgirl has left the building