23 Mar 2009

Alienating your readers and other cool blog tricks.

Well I was going to write this first post in wingdings. But I thought that would make it kind of hard to read. And defeat the point of me doing some actual writing.

So the point was, here is my blog. God knows who's going to want to read it. I'm an ordinary girl with an ordinary life. If I were a colour I'd be black. I have friends. And a fiance. And a flat. I am Jane Austen's dream for liberated women. I can grow in my body hair, and not wear a bra. And I earn my own money but have a joint bank account. Except I shave my body hair. And buy expensive lingerie. Just for me. And the only thing the joint bank account pays for is bills + the mortgage. Which sadly is not a tracker mortgage in this current financial climate.

This blog was for me to practise my writing. I've always wanted to write a book. I never said that I was original and/or special. But so far all I can see is that I like to write in short sentences - contrary to what I learned in my Classics degree. And also that you now pretty much know what I look like without my clothes on. Yes, I have no shame. Why do I get the impression this post is running away from me. Its as if i have no control over my hands and their connection with this keyboard. Have I alienated you yet? If you've gotten this far, perhaps I'm not the crazy one.

Anyway, what to write on a blog if you're no-one special. And if I want to be anonymous how does anyone read it? And give me opinions. And how close to real life should I stick - perhaps I'll refer to all my friends by the first letter of their surname. Mentioning work or jobs or anything like that seems a little foolish. So the question remains, what to write about.

I was hoping that I would post about random things that caught my attention. And eventually I might get a clue as to what I could write a book about. Not a publishable book I might add. I am sure I'm a fairly terrible writer. And the thought of being published is far too terrifying an aim. But after a discussion with a friend (K) in which she revealed she too wants to be a cross between several authors, I decided I wanted my writing style to be the love child of Douglas Coupland and Margaret Atwood. A sort of Edible Generation X Girlfriend in a Coma Tale.

....*i've now been sat here for 5 minutes with no idea how to follow up that last paragraph*....Is it possible to have writers block after a mere 400+ words? I seem to have managed it. It's clearly a talent of mine along with dancing weirdly, obsessive organisation of my books and my addiction to wedding websites.

I guess the last paragraph is quite a neat summation of my first post. I have high ambitions and a laissez-faire approach to achieving them. I'm wedding obsessed and yet still have strong feminist tendencies (is it more or less liberated to stay home with the kids now - or is having the choice the point?). And finally I love books. I think I'll sign off there. Thank you and goodnight.

Stupidgirl has now left the building.

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