29 Mar 2015

Sunday Kitchen Disco No.2

Morning all and welcome to the second ever #sundaykitchendisco! This week I've been a bit slack so I'm only actually writing this *on* sunday whilst I recover from losing an hour of sleep  thanks to that whole clocks going forward thing *plus* a child who thinks it's fun to wake up in the middle of the night for a couple of hours.

So if you're wondering WTF#sundaykitchendisco, the short story is, it's a music themed linky I run every sunday. If you've enjoyed anything music related with your kids - be it dancing in the kitchen, going to a festival, singing along in the car, going to a class or group or just *anything* music related, then add your post(s) here. 

They don't have to be recently written *and* you can add more than one. For more information see here. Also here's last week's linky if you want to check it out. If you join up, don't forget to tweet me the link and add the #sundaykitchendisco badge to your post!


So this week we have mostly been listening to....

The bloody Abadas theme tune. Yes, I don't know why either, but I've had multiple requests for it. Well, also Up-Down (!) Funk too as usual but yes, this is what we've had on a loop in this house

This week we also went to our last ballet class of the term. Toddler45 has been going to ballet since last September and he loves it. Well, mostly he loves his ballet teacher but he really enjoys singing and dancing. The class for his age group (18mo-3yo) is mostly just music and movement but he's progressed really well and can do the whole class with minimal help from me. He only has one more term before he moves up to the big class where mummies don't go in and he has to follow the teacher without help from me. I'm really interested to know how he gets on with this.

It's surprising how few boys do ballet. Admittedly there are *a lot* of little girls in pink tutus but ballet is widely recognised as being excellent training for the body in terms of core strength, posture and co-ordination. Whatever sport or exercise Toddler45 wants to go on to do, these classes are a really good beginning for him. For those who have expressed surprise that a BOY does ballet, then I just assume they've not seen Billy Elliot and have never actually watch a ballet in their lives!

So thats it for #sundaykitchendisco this week but feel free to add a link below and let us know what you've been up to!

26 Mar 2015

Some Juvenile Humour

Utterly random post but here are some cards from TaylorJayne in Reigate that made me laugh until I cried this week.  Can your pelvic floor cope with these?

Just couldn't stop laughing at this one. 

Yup, even nursery rhyme figures can be slut-shamed

Some might say the fanny falling off was a small mercy

Thank you! So when I talk about potty training all the time, *that's* because it's key skill!

Often with blog writing you have weeks where it's all killer and weeks where it's all filler.  I think you can tell which one this week has been.....

Thank you and goodnight,

Stupidgirl has left the building

25 Mar 2015

Top 10 Beauty Products

Time for something different - I'm not normally a reviews person but I've been using some beauty bits recently that are great and worth a blog post. Most of these products below cost less than £10, if not less than £5 and are available from your local Boots/Superdrug. Hope you like them as much as me! Also please note I have either gotten all these as gifts (hi there mother in law) or bought them myself, none were sent to me to review.

If I could afford it, I would use Kerastase all day everyday. But like most people £20 for shampoo/conditioner is a bit much. So L'Oreal Extraordinary Oil shampoo, conditioner and hair oil seems to be the next best thing.

I have long, dry, curly, coloured hair, which is a bit of a tough call for any hair product, but this conditioner really brought my colour back to life, and the hair oil is light but effective, giving a lovely moisture boost and shine.

I've got combination skin - oily t-zone and then dry cheeks with a lovely collection of black heads and the odd "proper" spot at er, certain times. And also wrinkles are gathering apace around my eyes *sob*. Anyway the Soap & Glory Peaches + Clean 3-in-1 face wash has worked wonders on my skin - really clearing my pores and making it smooth and clear. 

I only use it every 2-3 days, applying with fingers and rinsing off with warm water and a flannel. For extra moisture I do it before my shower and then apply a thin layer of basic Nivea cream and leave it to sink in.

Yeah, I have hobbit feet. Or I did until I discovered Soap & Glory's The Scrub of Your Life and also their Heel Genius foot cream

After a couple of weeks of regular use most of my disgusting dead skin is gone and my nails look really clear and strong too. Almost good enough for the holy grail of pedicures - a french manicure! Roll on summer!

I love eyeliner, pencil and liquid. The best pencil liner I've found is Rimmel's Soft Kohl Kajal eyeliner pencil in black. It goes on nice and smoothly, easy to smudge and correct. I have super sensitive eyes and wear contacts and it's never irritated them. It's also easily removed with make up wipes.

The best liquid liner I've found is also Rimmel - Exaggerate Eye Liner. It's got a fibre tip like a felt pen, making it easy to be precise. I don't have the steadiest hand but I never make a mistake with this.

I *love* lip gloss and have owned hundreds over the years. I love a lovely shiny flesh coloured gloss and my current favourite is Soap & Glory's Sexy Motherpucker XL Extreme Plump. (I'm not sponsored by Soap & Glory honest!).

It's a lovely pinky-nude colour with menthol in the gloss to literally plump up your lips. It gives a bit of a tickly-tingle but it works and it's moisturising too.


I don't have much time to paint my nails, I want something that goes on quick, dries fast and doesn't chip. So the holy grail of nail polish. Well I've found it - Rimmel Salon Pro Nail colour with lycra. It's got an extra wide brush which seems to make it much easier to coat my nail precisely and avoid mess. 

I also rate their Finishing Touch Ultra Shine top coat. Even with washing up, fumbling for keys in my bag and an overactive toddler this stuff can last up to a week but usually a good 5 days without chipping.

So that's it - my best products. What are yours? Share them in the comments or tweet @stupidgirl45 and let me know!

Thank you and goodnight,

Stupidgirl has left the building

The List

Wicked Wednesday - Juice?

It's Wednesday again, *already*, which means it's time for @brummymummyof2 's Wicked Wednesday linky....

"I have some of your juice mama?"

Look at that cheeky glint in his eye, hmmmmmm. Needless to say, he finished my squash for me...


22 Mar 2015

Sunday Kitchen Disco

Hi everyone and welcome to the very first #sundaykitchendisco linky!

Typically, starting with a bang, this week is more of a #sundaykitchenplaylist - because I do love a good list, especially a music related one! I thought I'd pull together a list of Toddler45's favourite songs to boogie, sing and cuddle to.  

For regular readers, in case you're wondering what's going on, a linky is an opportunity to share a post you've written with lots of other people on my blog. The theme is *music*. You can read all about the linky here but the basic idea is:
  • Add your post to the linky on the theme of *music*. So what your kids love to dance to, classes they attend, musical toys they love - anything.
  • Tweet me your post link + include #sundaykitchendisco so I can RT!
  • Comment on other posts in the linky + make new friends :)
  • Your post can be old or new, doesn't matter so feel free to dig out one from the archives!
  • The linky runs for a week from each Sunday
Fnally, don't forget to add the supercool #sundaykitchendisco badge to your post
Anyway, here's our list SundayFundayKitchenDisco playlist :)

Uptown Funk - Mark Ronson ft Bruno Mars
Not yet the most overplayed song of 2015, Toddler45 loves this one and cutely refers to it as UpDown Funk. He does a pretty decent imitation of the dance too and had a little go at breakdancing also!

All About That Bass - Meghan Trainor
Not sure if its the foxy ladies in this video that have Toddler45 mesmerized or the catchy tune. Either way I have been forced to watch this around 67,000 times in the last month alone "Bass Mummy? No tweble!"

Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins

If liking cheesy music is in your genes, then Toddler45 gets this one from me. As a *bump* he used to go crazy to this one. And he still loves it :) "I feel the need, the need for speed!"

Get Lucky - Daft Punk
The first song Toddler45 clapped to. I was a bit over-excited by this - I mean Daft Punk, how cool is my child (nowhere near as cool as his mother obviously...)

Happy - Pharrell Williams

I've yet to find a toddler who does not like running around my sitting room when this song is on. So up there on our regular playlist. And that's without the Despicable Me connections :)

Fifi + The Flowertots Theme Tune
I've deliberately not posted a video clip of this song. It will be an endless earworm for you. Toddler45 loves it and I have regular requests for "FEEFEE" - despite him never actually watching the damn show!

Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World

I love this song and used to play it to my bump very regularly. As a newborn, it always calmed Toddler45 down. And even last week, he fell asleep on me listening to this song. So it's a bit special. Might make you cry though.

Here Comes the Sun - The Beatles
Again, a bump song, one that calmed my son down as a newborn and even now. It's such a lovely, cheery positive song. The lyrics are oddly reassuring!

A Thousand Years - Christina Perri

This song came out around the time Toddler45 was born and sappy though it is, the lyrics summed up a lot of how I felt about him, loving him for a thousand years etc. I remember spending many evenings, in my dimly lit bedroom, with this on the radio, watching him sleep or feeding him and feeling so blessed.

I hope you liked the list and it's inspired you to add your own post to the linky. Anything music related - an archive post or a new post is fine. Hope you'll join in - just click the link below to join and add your post.

20 Mar 2015

Motherly Love - Not What I Was Expecting

Being a parent: the only relationship in which you are always preparing for the person you love, to leave you - and that's an outcome to aim for! Truly the definition of if you love someone, set them free.
I never understood the concept that love could be redemptive before I had my son. When the pregnancy test was positive, I remember feeling that I was no longer "alone" despite being in a relationship - that there were two of us now, but that we were in some way more equal. I felt like here was a person who could know me from the inside out and we could grow together to know each other. I never realised how much loving him would change me as a person.

I wasn't prepared for the intensity of feeling I would have for my son when he was born. It didn't take much for that all consuming, instant feeling to kick in after birth. But it's not even so much love as  a turbo-charged primal, feral intense feeling of protectiveness. When the midwife did the reflex test and made my son cry, I wanted to tear her arms off to get to him. Every time he cried, which face it, was quite a bit in the early days and months, I felt like my skin was being ripped off if I couldn't get to him quickly enough. I felt worn to a raw nerve a lot of the time, terrified that something could possibly happen to him.

Trusting people has always been hard for me, expecting them to leave or hurt me at any moment. But with a child, you have to earn their trust, you are entirely responsible for this tiny human being. I really struggled with this responsibility and the weight of emotion that sloshed around inside me - that messy postnatal soup of hormones.

None of the books or blogposts I read prepared me for how to deal with such a one sided relationship in which my anxiety seemed all-consuming at times. I felt - feel - so vulnerable in my love for my son. It is hard to have balance sometimes. In the early days, my fears for him were common - feeding, sleeping, pooping - was everything normal? Any ill health was paralysing though, and the thought of anything worse - SIDS was a constant terror. I still, every night, go and check on him before I go to sleep. A hand on the chest, reassuring up down movement. 

It is hard to put into words how I feel or why it is so scary. Which is almost why this post needs to be written. Sometimes I feel so alone in my feelings - do other people also see the worst happening, before it even happens. The fall from the climbing frame, the too-thick bedding, the speeding car, the too-large grape. Everything seems risky sometimes. And then I have to be normal, act normal. If he does fall and hurt himself, if he is unwell, to remain calm, to have perspective. To not alarm him or transfer my fears onto him. To show balance.

But even the smallest hurts to him, trivial as they are to an outsider, when I watch his little face crumple, just wring my heart to bits. And the knowledge that one day a cuddle will not fix his problems....saddens me deeply. 

Sometimes I think I need to be tougher, to feel less like a piece of my heart is walking around, playing on the swings, asking for a snack. But I think I need to make the most of this time because one day he will be too big to want "kisses on my mouf mumma" and wind his little arms around my neck. To have hurts healed with the power of a kiss. 

I like the simplicity of a toddler's life, the soothing predictability and the time to explore the world within safe, familiar boundaries. To be able to return home to loving arms whenever things feel strange and receive an explanation. I love being able to provide this for him. 

It is strange and hard to be vulnerable, to trust, to love openly and without constraints. But maybe this is what my son is here to teach me. To allow myself to do these things and take down my walls, so that I can enjoy life more. As much as it's scary, it's exhilarating also. I wouldn't change it, it just wasn't what I was expecting.

Thank you and goodnight,

Stupidgirl has left the building.  

PS If you liked this post, you might like this and this too.

Post Comment Love

Best of Worst

18 Mar 2015

Wicked Wednesday

So this is my first #wickedwednesday linky which is run by the lovely brummymummyof2 blog (worth checking out if you haven't already). Anyway, the plan is to share a funny picture of your LO. So here's an oldie but goodie of Toddler45....

This was a random tantrum on the stairs, when I was mid conversation with husbando. No idea what was wrong but a cuddle soon fixed it :)


17 Mar 2015

Dear Toddler45 - Count My Lucky Stars

Dear Mr Munchy Bum,

As you know, I love you. I tell you approximately 650,789,456 times a day. I also enjoy kissing your munchy little face. At which you either wriggle away or lick me or yell "kiss on my MOUTH MUMMY" and try to give me a big enthusiastic snog.

As much as I whinge about it, I'm quite partial to being a mummy. Particularly, *your* mummy. You see, you're quite lovely and cute and also hilariously funny. So you know, that's all pretty good stuff to have around.

I might complain about the exhaustion - when you wake in the night for 2 hours and have a tantrum about no Mister Tumble and then try to sleep across my head. Or the tedium - when I have to read Dinosaurs Love Underpants at least 7 times before bed (sucker!). But also, you are the apple of my eye.

You give me a reason to get up in the morning, because no one does enthusiasm for a new day like a toddler. "Is it sunny?" when it's clearly pissing it down. "Is it dark?" when it's clearly 9am and yes, actually sunny. Your insistence on "staying in my jim-jams just little bit more mummy" means you're a boy after my own heart - nothing like lounge wear, telly and a big bowl of cereal.

You've also got an excellent bossy streak. I take pride in the fact that you've inherited this from me. Risking life and limb you insist that you "walk for a little bit mummy" as you flail away from me by the roadside whilst I have a minor coronary as cars whizz past. 

Resolute, you tuck your hands into your blue bomber jacket and march along, asking me if "we go Tescos for special t-weat mummy?" *cue big blue eyes*. I am powerless to resist. So is the lady in the Tescos who has a soft spot for you and always asks me accusingly "where is he??" when I go in without you.

I'm also massively enjoying your strong nurturing streak. Much as you like to destroy stuff "Me do snipping Mummy?" (cue paper everywhere) you love your bunny-baby so much. Twee as it may be, you look so cute pushing your pink toy stroller, with bunny snuggled in it, to the shops with me.  To those who have given you a funny look, *blows raspberry* do Daddies not push babies in buggies where you come from? 

Bunny is very important to you, bunny likes to be wrapped in a blanket and is just like you - only napping in the buggy. You also love your Makka Pakka - who sits in the back seat of your Little Tikes car and gets chauffeured around. He is also partial to yoghurt...

You love music, with Bruno Mars being the only person who has, to my knowledge, gotten you to eat a mushroom (heavens above, an actual vegetable!) Your special Uptown Funk dance in which you have tried to copy the video is excellent. You also love the (inappropriate?) All About That Bass video "AGAIN MUMMY, bass, no t-weble".  I love listening to music with you. You're much cooler than me - you love Hozier also!

Mostly though, it was very nice yesterday, on a rainy Monday afternoon, when Mummy was feeling poorly, when we lay on the sofa for a snuggle and listened to the songs I played you when you were a newborn, and you drifted off to sleep with your head on my chest. I know you remember the songs, I played them to you as a bump - and they settled you when you wouldn't feed when you were tiny. You woke a bit on me, and if I moved "No, cuggle mama" and you wound your little arms around me.

I love you baby, because you taught me to love myself. You taught me that I am fun to be around, that it doesn't matter what I wear or where we are, as long as we are together that's all that matters. So I'm counting my lucky stars that I have you as my little best buddy. Because it would be pretty crap for me and Daddy without you.


Potty Mouthed Mummy

PS At risk of being considered the world's grumpiest mother, this post came about to reassure people that I don't just let Toddler45 go feral to Cbeebies whilst I eat bonbons, drink gin and post on the social medias. Also it's a follow up to this post

15 Mar 2015

This One's For You - Lyric Day

It's Mother's Day. I don't have anything clever to say. I'm so moved by all the lovely messages everyone is sharing online about their mums. I love all the photos - all the love and pride radiating out from everyone.  I know it's a tough day for people too  for many reasons.

So for all the mums out there. The mums who can't be here. The friends who are mums and the grandmas and aunties. The daddies who have to be mums. And the mums who wish they were mums. Here's a song and quote for you.
"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." - Sofia Loren
Thanks for everything you do, and thanks for always thinking twice. 

Tonight's lyric day song is Elton John 's Your Song. Because the lyrics seem to be much like kids's presents 
"I know it's not much but it's the best I can do/My gift is my song/painting/sticking/crafty thing and this one's for you"

 Thank you to my mum.

Stupidgirl45 has left the building

PS Here's a Mother's Day selfie

12 Mar 2015

Shedding Your Skin - Mummy, I'm Glad You're Here

Sometimes I talk to people, and often, they are surprised at what you give up when you have kids. Usually these people I am talking to don't have kids. So the things we relinquish when we have kids seem like huge sacrifices to them. And before I had Toddler45 I couldn't have imagined the responsibility. The lack of lie ins, parties, spontaneity, holidays, free time, promotions, new jobs, adventure.

And I think when you first become a parent, the sloughing off of that skin - the before-you to become the now-you is painful and at once immediate and lengthy. Some days your new life is so all consuming that you can't remember the before. And then other times the reminders are all too real - rubbing at raw skin like shoes on a blister.

But with the benefit of hindsight - 20/20 as ever - I can look back on the adventure of the last 3 years and say that having kids/parenthood is not an either/or situation. Yes, things change massively. In ways that you cannot predict or expect. But it's a bit like the path not taken rather than the path left behind.

For everything you give up, you gain something. It's different, it's like comparing apples and oranges. One isn't better than the other, it's just different. You might sacrifice sunny friday afternoons in the pub....for sunny afternoons in the park. Your child shrieking with pleasure, sunshine on your skin, kisses sweet on your cheek. Pure happiness either way.

For every missed holiday, festival, drunk night out, there is discovery of new places, seeing the world afresh, enjoying company with someone who only wants to be with you. Whose life is complete with their little hand in yours, experiencing it all with you.

A bus ride, a sight of a train station, a digger. Mud on the ground, a pebble, the cinema. Foamed milk in a coffee cup, croissants, chocolate. Grass stains, sand between your toes, skin slick with sun cream - that holiday fresh scent. 

Even with all the lost evenings, the missing chunks of sleep, the bags under my eyes have come cuddles with a boy and his bunny. Bedtime stories, traditions, comfort, fitting into a new persona that can be hard, like trying on a slightly too tight dress. But then it settles down and fits. 

And this is it, acceptance. I miss the person I was before Toddler45, but she's gone. And in her place I have a new me and I have Toddler45. Not better, not worse. Just different. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Tonight, as i put Toddler45 to bed, he said "Mummy, I'm glad you're here".......so you know, i'll take that :)

Thank you and goodnight,

Stupidgirl has left the building