7 Feb 2011

Fun With Stupidgirl - A Day in the Life

As I've been promising for awhile, here are a bunch of pictures that I snapped whilst I was out + about, doing my daily stuff. There's tube signs, alcohol, food, books, my laptop, shopping, bath stuff and one of me doing karaoke.... enjoy :)

Doing my bit to save libraries down in Brixton (more info here)



A few arty buildings



At the climbing wall!







Eating, drinking + getting out and about




My stuff!





I know the pics weren't quite so arty this week, but thought you'd like a little glimpse into my life - especially the climbing pics, as a lot of you ask me about that. Watch out for some special, climbing related posts coming up in the next few weeks!

Thanks also for all your lovely comments + views of yesterday's poetry list - hope you like next sunday's top 10 just as much.

Thank you and goodnight,

Stupidgirl has left the building

6 Feb 2011

Filling the hole in my soul - Top 10 Poems (plus a few more..!)

When you're sick or you've hurt yourself, you normally take yourself off to the Doctor (or worst case, the hospital) and they given you antibiotics, or a plaster, or whatever and it makes you feel better. But sadly, sometimes, they can't do anything much for what I slightly melodramatically call, malaise of the soul. Some of you might know this better as the black dog, or even more commonly, depression. I know there is medication out there, and counselling, but sometimes, the best medicine can simply be words - in this case poetry. It may sound clichéd but when you're feeling worn down by the daily grind and it's just all gotten too much chances are, there's a poem out there that will make you feel better - and that will remind you that "this too, shall pass."

Here are my most very favourite poems, that I've read many times and they make my soul ache (and my eyes leak). I hope you like them  - and please feel free to share your favourites in the comments section.

To His Coy Mistress - Andrew Marvell
A wonderful, romantic poem in which Mr Marvell tries to persuade his lover to allow him to sleep with her. It's funny, endearing, grandiloquent and never fails to make me smile. It also contains a couple of my most favourite lines "Thus, though we cannot make our sun/ Stand still, yet we will make him run".

The Lake Isle of Innisfree - WB Yeats
The first of four Yeats poems to feature in this list, I first read this poem when I was doing my A-levels at a school in the City of London. I had serious teenage blues - and being surrounded by dull, dark, dingy grey buildings didn't help. When I read this poem, I held its lines close in my heart and whenever the city got too much for me I thought of  "I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore/While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey/I hear it in the deep heart's core."

Death Is Nothing At All - Henry Scott Holland
Technically not a poem at all, in fact it's from a sermon by Holland, Canon of St Paul's Cathedral in 1884. I had this read at my grandmother's funeral in 2006. It was a fairly religious Jewish funeral but I wanted this said over her grave as a personal message from me to her. I cried when I started reading it so my Dad had to do it instead :( I love this poem though because it's such a lovely sentiment about death and provided me with a lot of comfort when I was very sad. It's got a slightly "don't be silly, no tears for me" tone - and that's exactly what my grandmother would have been like if she'd seen me cry.

Siren Song - Margaret Atwood
As a Classics student, this poem really made me laugh the first time I read it. It's not actually that funny - but the words "feathery maniacs" as a description of Homer's Sirens is priceless. Clearly the poem also says something about the enduring idea of women luring men to their deaths - or simply just luring them to some unidentifiable end. I've not really articulated why I like this poem so much, you'll just have to read it and make your own personal interpretation of it - but it's definitely worth a read!

He Wishes For The Clothes of Heaven - WB Yeats
This was one of three readings at my wedding. I love this poem so incredibly much. In some ways perhaps it's not the most original choice for a reading but it completely sums up, for me, my marriage vows and making a commitment together. I choke up whenever I read it, and really had to hold it together on the day when my friend read it aloud. (In case you're interested, we also had this and this)

i carry your heart with me - E. E Cummings
Following on with the love poems theme, this is such a beautiful, quirkily worded poem. Simple and wonderful - like all E.E.Cummings poems, this was a reading at a friend of mine's wedding.  The line "i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)" just really gets me every time I hear it - I'm such a softy!

Warming Her Pearls - Carol Ann Duffy
This poem is almost a whole book in itself - the story hidden between the lines is differently interpreted by every reader, but the images conjured up for me - the intimacy between a lady and her maid, and the subtle erotic spice that runs through this whole poem really makes my skin flame a little.

Love's Philosophy - Percy Bysshe Shelley
This wouldn't be a poetry collection without a dash of Shelley now! I always think of this as the poem equivalent of a big, fat, heavily scented, overblown english country rose. Shelley waxing lyrical about how "Nothing in the world is single" and so "why am I not with thine?". All the dramatic natural images almost kill the poem but for it's beautiful and plaintive last lines "What are all these kissings worth/If thou kiss not me?"

Remember - Christina Rossetti
I had to study Rossetti and Emily Dickinson for A-Level English Literature - two more different sisters of poetry would be impossible to find. Although I thoroughly enjoyed Dickinson, her poems were sometimes so impenetrable to me that Rosetti's came as quite a relief. Remember is quite a famous poem - obviously it's often read at funerals - but what I like about it is that I think it is one of her most honest poems. I really feel it shows Christina in a strong positive light, particularly the lines "Better by far you should forget and smile/Than that you should remember and be sad". After the melodrama of some of her other works, I loved Rossetti for this poem alone.

Desiderata - Max Ehrmann
Rather unfortunately, the use of this poem on tons of greetings cards and posters across the world has somewhat dimmed its lovely, enduring message "with all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams/it is still a beautiful world". And to me, that's so important to remember - there's lots of good advice and common sense in this poem - it's rather like a 1927 version of Baz Lurhmann's Everyone Should Wear Sunscreen - so it is definitely worth a read, particularly if you're feeling in need of a little comfort.

When You Are Old - WB Yeats
The second Yeats on this list, this poem is so beautiful and touching that I don't think I can really do it justice in a glib little paragraph. I love the sentiment, I love the idea of a man still finding a woman beautiful and loving her after all those years - and wanting her to know that and finally, I love the slow, slightly melancholy lilt of it all. So beautiful and touching.

Twelve Songs - WH Auden
I know, you all know this one - thank you Four Weddings and A Funeral but, it is such a classic poem and my heart wrenches everytime I hear the lines "My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song/I thought that love would last forever, I was wrong." John Hannah's Scottish accent haunts every word of this poem for me, I don't think there has been a better poem written about losing a partner. I know there are plenty who would disagree but for me, this says everything.

Do Not Stand At My Grave & Weep - Mary Elizabeth Frye
A simple, well known poem. It provides me with lots of comfort for some reason, whenever I read it, even if I am not thinking of someone I have lost. It just has such a lovely delicate tone, encouraging the reader to take solace from the simple, still, calm moments of life. In all the rush and hurry of work and bills and friends and family, hurrying to and fro, it's easy to lose sight of what really matters. This poem always helps to me move with just a little more kindness and grace and to find some calm inside me.

The Song of Wandering Aengus - WB Yeats
The last Yeats poem - and the last on my list. I didn't realise how much I loved Yeats until I wrote this list! This poem - like his others above, is so soothing and romantic. I think we've probably all had "a fire" in our heads from time to time - and when we do, I expect we'd love to "go out to the hazel woods" - particularly Yeat's beautifully magic woods, with "moth like stars" and a "glimmering girl". Again, I'm not really entirely sure what this poem is about. For me it touches on love, fairytales and loneliness in just a few simple lines. The end is what always sticks in my head "the silver apples of the moon/the golden apples of the sun". It just conjures such beautiful pictures in my head of enchanted forests and woodland sprites - even though I'm sure that's not what he meant at all; still, I love it.

So that's my list - a touch over 10 this time! I know that most of these poems are very popular and probably familiar to all of you. I never claimed to be overly original in my choices and these poems are what I return to for comfort over and over again. I won't lie, it was bloody hard work to narrow it down to these few poems, there were so many other front runners - I could have put at least another ten poems up there, but perhaps I'll do that another time (Top 10 second-favourite poems?!)

Thanks for reading - and, I hope, commenting. Stay tuned this week for WoTW - Vocation, an interview with a wedding photographer and not 1 but TWO photo essays - one around a day in my life and another that will be Valentine themed. Finally, next Sunday's top 10 will be my favourite alternative love songs (well, it is almost valentine's day!).

Thank you and good night,

Stupidgirl has left the building

PS Thanks again to all the tweeties who told me about their favourite poems, I hope you enjoyed re-reading them - and my list!

5 Feb 2011

Sharing - a quick post about my blog roll

Morning from London-town everyone. It's 9:05am here - this has to be a record for my earliest post ever! I know I normally do a photo essay today *but* this week has been crazy with work, and I've been feeling a bit down, so I've not got all my pictures ready yet. The theme was `A Day in the Life` and promise I will post them on Monday instead.

So apologies over with, today's post is about other peoples' blogs! I wanted to do this because I have received so much support from other bloggers for my writing and blogging - most of whom are on my blog roll. I thought I'd repay their kindness and give them a little shout-out - and you guys can read some fabulous new blogs. In no particular order, they are:

Graffiti Living If you like tea, japan, writing, blogging and general interesting indie boy type writing, you'll love this blog. Thought provoking, open, honest and well written, the author of this blog is a dude!

The Crafty Bat Stuff on gender, motherhood, sport, writing - and the odd post on the rock god that is Corey Taylor, this lady has supported my writing in so many ways but her blog is always very articulate, intelligent and well written - head her way!

Steampunk + Synthesisers Seattle based steampunk author Ren waxes lyrical about writing, blogging, music and his journey to getting published! For more, check out my exclusive interview with him here!

From Student to Midwife Time for something a little different, but do check this blog out - does exactly what it says on the tin! If you like One Born Every Minute, then you'll love this honest account of life training to be a midwife.

How Did I Live Without It If you like crafty sewing projects, fashion, gadgets, Lakeland and have a good sense of humour then this blog is for you. Written by the fabulous @aliamck, check out my interview with her here!

DemonWrangling101 Stuff about personal challenges, writing, living with 2 kids, being a single mum, disability - all written by the fabulously articulate Jo! Also great stuff on her 101 things in 1001 days challenge. Check out my interview with her here

Vampire Wonderland Dark gothy thrills + noir with a dash of romance from my friend across the pond, Will Kravitz. If you fancy a trip on the dark side, check this one out - possibly with a glass of wine in hand!

Siren of Brixton Wonderfully articulate blog on writing, blogging, politics, style, creativity and more. Check this lady out - she's a good 'un - and been a good support + inspiration for my writing. Plus she's a Sarf Londoner too :)

Voices for the Library Love your library? Don't want to see literacy, community spirit, free books, freedom of information + freedom of speech + much more disappear due to ConDem policies? Visit this site to learn how to support your libraries. Also check out my blog post on it here

Julie C Gardner Another lovely writing blogger who lives on the sunny side of the pond! Fun, friendly, supportive, articulate and interesting posts about another lady on her journey to becoming a published author!

Emlyn Chand This lady is a true inspiration to me - her blog is so generously jam packed full of advice on how to get the best out of social media + blogging if you're a writer, plus book reviews AND her very exciting twitter-views series. Watch out for yours truly being interviewed live on twitter on Feb 22nd 9pm UK time!

Couple more shout-outs for blogs that I love - JM Tohline, Query Shark

Also check out these newbie bloggers - they haven't done loads of posts, but I think they're interesting, so I'm trying to encourage them to write more.... Please Don't Kiss the Cook (this one is cute + great recipes), Sick + Tired and finally Gryfon's 101 Things in 1001 days.

All these people in many different ways, have supported, helped + inspired my writing - whether they know it or not. So here is my opportunity to say THANK YOU! Hope you find some new blogs to follow and enjoy. We need to support each other - it's a scary world out there sometimes.

Thank you + good morning,

Stupidgirl has left the building

4 Feb 2011

This Much I Know Is True - An interview with Ren

Hey everyone, happy Friday! As ever it's interview time and tonight I'm sitting on my virtual l-shaped sofa with steampunk author @rencummins. We're having sushi tonight - not pizza, gotta vary the diet - and drinking stout (Ren) and pink fizz (me). We are listening to music as well (unlike last week) - and seeing as I detest Coldplay (Ren's first choice) instead we've got the Tron soundtrack playing as it's by the gods that are Daft Punk (which we both like) Tonight's interview is a little bit longer than normal, but it's a good 'un so grab a drink + snack + enjoy the show!

A little background for you, Ren lives in Washington state, with his wife and one daughter, two dogs and one cat. He grew up wanting to be Spiderman, but eventually settled into the much more realistic careers of musician and writer. He likes to indulge in the occasional video game, book or philosophical speculation and he’s generally up for a decent cup of coffee, and doesn’t mind if it’s from Starbucks!

Me: Right, lets start with a toughie! What is the best piece of advice you've ever been given? 
Ren: Okay....during my last semester at college I met with my department counsellor/English lecturer, who, in one of the first classes I'd had with him, had taken great delight in kicking me in the philosophical testicles . In spite of my dread, we had a very transformative meeting as he asked me point blank what I hoped to gain from an English Education. He told me that he knew I could write, and I had points of view, and was very skilled at storytelling... but the only remaining element, was in having sufficient life experiences to draw from. And those, he pointed out, you don't have to rack up tremendous school loans for. He told me if I was truly determined to be a writer, the best thing I could do was get out and live my life. I don't think this advice is for everyone, but for me, it forced me to really face my relative indecision about what I was going to do with the rest of my life.

Me: That makes a lot of sense - good advice indeed....but what originally made you start writing? 
Ren: Well, I originally wanted to be a comic book illustrator but as it turned out, I wasn’t that good at it . But the stories, the modern epic mythos of those characters really started me on that path of storytelling from an early age. Spiderman, the X-men, Batman, Green Lantern – I loved those characters and all the exceptional adventures and dramas in which they were engaged just remember reading those and thinking, “wow, someday I want to tell a story like that.”

Me: Ah okay, books are just so inspiring, but I like that it was comic books that got you going. I can see where the steampunk style you write in comes from now. For the benefit of our readers though, could you explain a little bit about what the steampunk genre is?
Ren:
There's a lot of debate as to whether or not "steampunk" is actually a genre or not. Some people imply that it’s actually a lifestyle or a sub-genre or a stylistic template for storytelling. I personally see it as a setting flavor for books and music and art and fashion and movies, etc. To really understand the essential foundation of steampunk, you need to break it down into its etymological origins. All these many “-punk” terms came from the sense of “rebellion against the machine” which emerged in the late 1970s and early 1980s. You had Cyberpunk first, as a classification of cybernetics and punk rebellion to describe the resistance to becoming part of the information network, building on the fears of loss of individuality and that sort of basic human response to the information age. But Steampunk takes that a step further, treating mankind’s more industrial tendencies with far more reverence and painting the more earthy stylization of construction and “the machine” with a much more elegant brush.

For further explanation, I’d recommend Matt Delman’s wonderful discussion over on Doctor Fantastique’s Show of Wonders – Matt is the managing editor for Flying Pen Press’ Steampunk & Co. imprint, and he truly knows his stuff.

Me: Wow, thanks - that's really interesting - readers, I encourage you to click on the link for more! Let's now have a slightly easier question - What is your favourite book?
Ren:
It’s a tie between “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran and “The Tao of Pooh” by Benjamin Hoff. They both literally changed my life. If you’ve read either one, you know what I’m talking about here. "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman is very solid, too, which also managed to inspire some ideas for a future series of books. But more about that another time. *chuckle*


Me: That brings me neatly back to asking you about your writing - what do you love (or hate) about the actual process of getting words on the page?
Ren:
Oh, it’s very much a love/hate relationship. I’ve got a biorhythm that works with the writing in a very organic way. When I feel my mood dropping into the “craptastic” realm , it’s usually because I’m about ready to write and write and write. And that part can be rather annoying. Sometimes, I’m not so much “writing” as I am “taking dictation” – but those are the good times. Other times, I have to wrestle the words onto the page. I don’t mind that so much, but it can be exhausting. The side I think I’m less of a fan of with respect to writing is that it tends to be such a solitary process. Muses, brainstorming sessions and critical interactions aside, the actual process of writing is just me and the page for long hour after long hour. That part can be fairly challenging; not just for me, but for the other people in my life.

Me: That's interesting and I really agree with you about the challenges it can pose for other people in your life. Following on neatly from what you were saying above - what is the nicest thing you have done?
Ren:
I try to be conscientious of others; I let people merge etc but I think those are just manners, you know? One thing I’m bearing in mind at the moment is that I’m stepping into that crazy and mysterious realm where writing stops being just a hobby and starts being my actual job; and I remember how hard it’s been to get to this point. In light of the present fears flooding the publishing industry, working together is going to be far more productive than working against each other. So perhaps this sense of responsibility isn’t entirely selfless, but I also can’t ever allow myself to be blind to the reality that we never truly get what we sincerely desire all on our own. Thus, we not only need help, but we must be that help for others.

Me: And.....(picks question from box of random questions on floor) what is your favourite song?
Ren:
Though this kind of changes from week to week and day to day (and moment to moment), the ones that are consistently in the top however-many would be “If I ever lose my faith in you” by Sting, “Clocks” by Coldplay and “the 1812 Overture” by Tchaikovsky . Oh, and “Imagine” by John Lennon.

Me: Interesting mix there - I'm not sure what I expected though Second to last question now...what really annoys you?
Ren:
Styrofoam , People who speed up, pull in front of me and then slow down, People who get mad at customer service people – especially right before I need to talk to them about something, Oh, and taking a drink from what I think is hot coffee only to find that it’s since grown cold. Ew! Finally, people who write on their hands. I don’t know why, but this totally messes with my head.

Me: And finally, what do you know to be true about life?
Ren:
(laughs) Wow, this is a tough question for a guy who borders on the edge of agnosticism. I hope a lot, and I try to be a good man, but in the end I try to focus on family and friends and in doing the right things in life. After all is said and done, it’s really the only thing we have any actual power over, so we might as well step up and do our best. I focus on the life we have right now and not waste the precious time worrying about what may happen later. Which is perhaps a very strange admission to make, considering that my current novels are about life and death and the immortality of the soul.

I believe that there is something to be learned from every person you ever meet, and to walk away from any social interaction (especially the significant ones) without learning that truth makes for a wasted opportunity. Perhaps one of the biggest struggles that most people seem to face is in waiting for the universe to tell them what to do; sometimes what the universe requires of us is to make up our minds; to have enough faith in ourselves to step out into that uncertainty and be brave enough to keep walking until we get additional information..

Me: Wow thanks for all your well thought out answers, you've been an amazing interviewee. Really thought provoking. Let's head off to the pub now!

If you're interesting in finding out more about Ren + what he's up to check out his professional website at www.renwritings.com and blogs at http://anachronology.blogspot.com You can also find him on twitter - @rencummins and Facebook.



That's all for today but don't forget to check back on Sunday for Top 10 Poems and a photo essay on monday!


Thank you and goodnight


Stupidgirl has left the building

2 Feb 2011

Let's Talk About Sex Baby....Word of The Week

Well yeah, as the song goes really, let's talk about sex. Let's just get right down to the nitty gritty. How does one write the perfect sex scene? Neither too smutty/pornographic nor too fluffy and schmaltzy. What words do you use to describe parts of the anatomy? Do you make it funny? What if everyone who reads the scene assumes you've written it based on your sex life + the person you're sleeping with? What if what if what if................

In case you're new to the blog and am wondering WTF is this crazy person going on about, every week I do Word of the Week (WoTW). I pick a word and talk about it in relation to writing. The last few weeks' words have been quite intense - and provoked a lot of discussion - so I thought I'd do something a little more light-hearted this week and talk about sex.

This whole post was inspired by one of my status updates during Nanowrimo, when I was struggling with writing the sex scenes in my book. Seeing as one of my main characters is a sex slave, I couldn't really avoid writing about it, but god it was hard . My status update read:

"lots of people have asked to read my nano book but I'm very sorry I can't show it to any of you. It has sex in it and then you'll know far too much about what I think about sex and it's just all too wahhhhhhhhhh I bet Jilly Cooper doesn't have this problem she just gets on with it. Help! "


This status provoked 21 comments as to what makes a good sex scene and whether people can still look you in the eye after you've described anal sex (not that I have, just a for example).


So - is there an art to writing a good literary sex scene? And what do I even mean by good - everyone has different ideas of what makes a good sex scene right?! And clearly none of this applies if you're writing erotica/bonkbusters/posh porn etc.


My best example of this is the library sex scene in atonement. It's simple but obvious and leaves your imagination to fill in the blanks (blanks that were hugely helped by the divine James McAvoy playing Robbie in the film). I think Ian McEwan should also win an award for excellent, if not the definitive use, of the word cunt.


Therefore, for the purposes of this post, I shall define a good literary sex scene as one in which you know exactly what is happening without it being described in TMI detail. Equally it should still be titillating - I want my readers' pulses to speed up a little, I want their pupils to be a touch dilated  - but I don't want them frantically dashing home for a quick one! It is the fine art of brushing the canvas without painting in the detail. 


It is also quite hard to write a sex scene that doesn't end up being comically amusing - mainly due to issues with what words to use for the various parts of the anatomy. If I list some examples here:


Male: penis, cock, willy, member, rod, erect, erection, hard on, stiffy, tumescent, spunk, come, cum, semen, sperm
Female: Clunge, gash, cunt, vagina, vadge, clit, flaps, pussy, quim, minge, lady garden, hairy mound, mons venus


I could go on - I did considerable research on twitter for this, which resulted in much tea being snorted out of my nose onto my laptop and general hilarity at our inability to find attractive names with which to label our body parts. I must also pay brief homage to Judy Blume here who surely must win an award for best name for penis ever - the hysterically named 'Ralph' in the book Forever - followed by the immortal line "I have an uncle Ralph". Loving how this does not in any way, diminish teenage ardour.


There was also much revulsion at any of the common metaphors used in books including things like "his eager fingers caressed her wetness" - for a start, how can fingers be eager? They're just fingers - are they possessed? Let's not even go near the wetness side of things. This is what I mean by TMI - we know what you're doing, either use the proper words (it's a clit, folks, every lady has one) or just don't bother at all. As for descriptions of orgasm - where everyone comes together naturellement, all the talk of waves crashing and reaching peaks and riding it out sometimes makes me wonder if the characters are fucking or on some sort of outward bound course.


Which brings me onto the verb one uses for sex scenes. Do they fuck? Do they make love ? Do they shag? Do they 'do it'? Do they screw? Is he giving her one? Shafting her? The list is endless. I know that there are different types of sex - fucking is different to having sex IMO - but really, lets call a spade a spade people. They're having sex. End of.


My final issue with writing about sex is actually fear of how it reveals what your own attitude to sex is. My book involves several different types of sexual relations - infidelity shags, loving sex and paid for fucks. All of which have to be described differently + provoke different reactions in the reader. It doesn't mean that this is the type of sex I have myself, but when you've had the same partner for many years does that mean your readers think you're drawing on experience. Ultimately my characters define the sex they have - not me - I'm just their conduit and I certainly haven't experienced (sadly?) some of the situations I describe.


I guess the main conclusion I can draw about writing a sex scene is that - much like the act itself, and like writing - everyone does it differently. You have to write a sex scene that stays true to your book, its voice and its characters and screw everyone else (bad choice of words, slaps self). Surely, much like sexual partners - for every sex scene, there is the perfect reader? You just have to work out which buttons to press.


Thanks for listening - and for the very entertaining contributions to this from the tweeties! As ever, please let me know your thoughts. Am hoping to be back tomorrow night with a photo essay and then interview day on friday. Sunday is going to be my Top 10 Poems!


Thank you and goodnight


Stupidgirl has left the building