2 Mar 2015

Verbal Sparring - 10 Weird Things Ive Said To Toddler45

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As we all know from this post, toddlers are beyond weird. I mean, In the Night Garden makes actual sense to them. Here are actual things that have been said, in my house, this week in response to actions or requests from said bonkers child:
Laughing at the noise farts make in a potty
1. "It's broccoli juice, you won't like it" - In reference to my glass of wine that Toddler45 wanted.

2. "Beebies is broken between 9-5. Unless I decide otherwise" In response to TV being requested all the sodding time and I'm paranoid it's frying his brain.

3. "You're going to do WHAT with your willy to your friend??" - In response to something being mumbled by Toddler45 before he exited the room at speed.

4. "Please don't put my phone down your nappy" Self explanatory really

5. "We don't read books with our willies"  See above

6. "Please stop motor-boating me and yelling boobies" *sigh*

7. "Please don't poke the froggie in the eyes" Poor Mr Froggy.

8. "Please don't grab Aunty X's chest and yell honk-honk" Poor Aunty X is all I can say.

9. "Makka Pakka farted?" In response to me asking Toddler45 who farted and he blamed his Makka Pakka toy. Twice. To be fair, I was in fits of laughter over this one.


And now for one in which I am winning at parenting...
10. "Thank you for my water-flavoured juice". Oh yes, we have water-flavoured juice in this house. I am a ninja mummy. Thanks to this Mumsnet thread for the idea!

Thank you and good night,

Stupidgirl has left the building

PS In the same vein, so wrong to snigger at Mike the Night having his bread sword eaten by Mr Cuddles....


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12 comments:

  1. Anonymous6 March 2015 at 06:51

    Yes. Us little ones understand 'In the Night Garden' it's strange isn't it?!? ;) very funny post! #PoCoLo x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. stupidgirl4528 March 2015 at 15:06

      That's because you''re all crazy beans! Sorry I took so long to reply didn't spot this comment #badblogger! Thanks for stopping by :)

      Delete
  2. Anonymous6 March 2015 at 10:40

    I get the whole swirly on the palm bits but the rest of that program is a mystery to me. Its baby speak! #pocolo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. stupidgirl4528 March 2015 at 15:07

      Like all the most popular kids shows, it's written by people on drugs. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it :) Thanks for commenting x

      Delete
  3. Mama, My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows27 March 2015 at 07:55

    water flavoured juice! Genius! Personally I prefer wine flavoured juice though
    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous27 March 2015 at 09:42

    Oh I do love this post! Broccoli juice!! Will have to steal that one :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. stupidgirl4528 March 2015 at 15:08

      It works. In fact I often describe desirable things as broccoli. I''m going to continue this charade for as long as possible! Thanks for commenting :P

      Delete
  5. Claire @ life love and dirty dishes27 March 2015 at 11:15

    What is it with kids motor-boating! Thanks for linking up. #FridayFrolics

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. stupidgirl4528 March 2015 at 15:09

      Wow I am so relieved it is not just mine. It is so disconcerting! Thanks for commenting :)

      Delete
  6. Anonymous28 March 2015 at 05:26

    Exactly! How does 'In the night garden' make sense to anyone? My son used to love that Makka Pakka chap. This made me chuckle! x #FridayFrolics

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. stupidgirl4528 March 2015 at 15:09

      Only toddlers. Because their brains are crazy:) Thanks for commenting x

      Delete

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