15 Aug 2013

Wading Back In

*Tiptoes back into the room* 

Hi everyone, I know I've not posted in awhile and I'm a bit late to the party but here are my thoughts on the Kate Middleton post baby body issue.

“Why does she still have a bump?” er,  because she had a baby 24 hours previously. I don’t blame the Sky presenter for this comment though, I blame the media in general. No one knows what a recent post-baby body looks like because new mummies tend to be a tad busy and when famous people have babies, we never actually see them until they get conveniently papped on their way to/from the gym/yoga-lates/running with a personal trainer looking like they've never sprogged.

“Getting your body back”.... see, I have other priorities. I work for a tiny incontinent dictator who requires every minute of my time 24/7.  Really, if Baby45 was a paying employer, I would take him to tribunal for poor working conditions and not allowing me my EU mandated work breaks every 6 hours. Not to put too fine a point on it but here are some examples about lack of me time:

  • There have been many, MANY days in the past year where I have not eaten breakfast, or lunch until a ridiculously silly hour.  Let's not talk about dinner.
  •  When I have not been to the toilet until the only other option was actually putting on an adult nappy 
  •  When being approx. 2cm away from Baby45 has resulted in a screaming meltdown and shock that I should want to say, put some clean clothes on.
So really when, exactly, should I have time to tuck my newly stretched baggy belly into some spandex and hurl myself around a torture chamber  gym studio?*Also, aside from lack of time, I have a lovely squishy, smiley, cheeky, bitey, poo-ey, baby to play with. And we have a sort of mutual adoration society thing going on. Really I should hand out sick bags. But seriously, the gym isn't competing with this one.

"I don’t really care" all that much, anymore,about how I look - or more accurately what other people think about how I look. Pregnancy has taught me to see my body in a different way. I might not be conventionally beautiful but I'm proud of what my body has achieved: growing, nurturing and feeding a baby. No one would tell an athlete or a soldier to be embarrassed by their scars. Well I'm not ashamed of my stretchmarks, my loose skin, my wobbly tummy, my saggy boobs. Why should I be? Those scars and loose skin are what remains of my baby's perfect, made to measure, home. Baby45 likes my wobbly tummy, he prods it and blows raspberries on it! 

I've been hesitant to post about being a mummy on this blog. I don't want it to turn into a "Mummy Blog" (whatever that is) but my life has changed immeasurably over the last 11 months and I'm not the same person I was before. All the limits - mentally and physically - that I thought I had, I'd underestimated. I learned I really could push myself and achieve things I didn't expect. I think - and I know this sounds a bit twee - but being a mum has made me a much more tolerant, patient person. It's hard being a mummy, most of the time you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. But we're all pretty much winging it, life is too short to be judgemental and unkind. 

I'm not ashamed to admit I struggled a lot in the early days - and still do now - so I will always, always have time for another mum; to chat to them in the playground, the loo, the coffee shop. Your days can be long and isolating, very monotonous with no adult conversation. So as a mum I think it's really important to reach out to others. I try to always remember that other people's parenting choices are not judgments on my own choices. We're all doing the best we can in circumstances that are totally unique to each of us. 

And finally, here is a little snap of Baby45 for you all :)

Thank you and goodnight,

Stupidgirl has left the building

*Just as an aside re: exercise and weightloss, I haven't even tried this in the last year. However I *have* walked almost everywhere, used a good baby carrier/sing (not a Baby Bjorn, I don't like them) and breastfed. I have eaten cake every day since Baby45 was born and I gained approx 4stone when I was pregnant, and now I appear to have lost it all. So I do recommend these :)

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