1 Apr 2009

The 10:32om News from Stupid-Land

Well I had completely planned my blog tonight. I had this great idea of what to write about today, at around lunchtime.

Except I can't remember it now and bloody forgot to write it down. The riots on the tellybox were too distracting and the sight of the great unwashed converging on Bishopsgate was clearly far too exciting for my little brain to handle.

So instead of whatever it is I planned to write today, tonight's blog is a newsbeat from Stupidland. As the title suggests, clearly.

Main News Today
Riots in Londontown. As suspected the four horsemen of the apocalypse did appear and attempted to bring the banking world to its knees (like it can't do that by itself). In anycase aside from the armoured vehicles, balaclavas, 6 stolen police uniforms and other assorted home-made weapons, the smell of 4000 people's worth of unwashed hair would be enough to persuade any hardened riot police to give up. Why can't protesters dress nicely and wash. And shave. I am sure that Galliano or Jean Paul Gaultier could do a decent line of couture protest costumes. I can see them now. Artfully ripped, camoflage material cut in an imacculate 3 piece suit, complete with detachable cashmere balaclava. Steel toe capped leather dress shoes + poison dart umbrella accessories available. Anyway I am sure the riots were massively successful and the banks are instantly going to be much more profitable, not pay people silly sums + NEVER take ridiculously large pensions (or take coke or shag hookers).

Secondary News
Yes Obama is here - and not in Streatham as I thought last night, given the maybank I spotted (and the horrendous traffic). After meeting with the rather less suave Gordon and Sarah he then has a dinner of great british talent inflicted on him.

It was lovely and sunny out today. Sunny enough for me to eat my low-calorie chicken salad purchased for lunch, outside whilst I read my Tess Gerritsen. However it was NOT warm enough for the flurry of flip flops, espadrilles, shorts, vests and other sundry summer clothing that I saw on the British public today. Although god knows what was up with the weirdo on the tube this morning wearing sunnies. It's underground - there is no sun. Perhaps he was a vampire.

Thats it for tonight, I'll be back the same time tomorrow. Thank you and good night.

Stupidgirl has left the building

No comments:

Post a Comment